| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Shonda Creemer on 03/19/11 at 03:03 PM This stopped me dead in my tracks, and to be quite honest....a poem has not done that in a long while now. Every word that followed its predecessor was perfection. +favs |
| Posted by Julie Adams on 03/19/11 at 05:36 PM Ava, this is amazing...and this stanza: i want to keep your eyes in a jar, i want to eat them when/i cannot sleep and i want to see the dreams you chose/over me." -- STELLAR!!! Your creative juices drip over me like a half bitten blood orange...love it, oeace, jewels
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| Posted by Charlie Morgan on 03/19/11 at 07:14 PM ...ava, what the others said. visceral. imaginative metaphors. and absurd realities [used] for expression. keenly done. |
| Posted by JJ Johnson on 03/21/11 at 02:54 AM Heartwrenching, devistating, wanting and lonely, but not at all alone, as I feel like you could have been writing about me at times and other times I feel like I could have written it. I read this about 10 times just now and everytime it blew mw away. This is one of those poems that makes me hope it's not true, that you made it all up, but then I feel that the only way a work of art so perfectly expressed and personal can be written is if it came from the heart. It almost seems insulting to say how well written this is, it rises above ratings and critique. But at the same time, it would be insulting not to rate it as anything less than perfect. JJ |
| Posted by Sarah Wolf on 04/01/11 at 11:48 AM Some writing really has the ability to make you feel the emotions as if they were your very own. A talent displayed here. Nice... I love it. |
| Posted by Michelle Angelini on 05/13/11 at 02:12 AM Ava, I wanted to read something more recent, but they were all explicit. The title of this poem drew my attention. The words and emotions within it wrapped around my heart and soul with forgotten memories that still haunt me. The last line of the poem is a surprise, since it totally heads in another direction for the rest of the poem. |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 06/01/11 at 05:32 AM Quite dramatic. Very well put together. Excellent ending...nicely ties up the issue. |
| Posted by Lucia Haselhorst on 12/26/11 at 08:31 AM Thank you for sharing this poem. |
| Posted by Tony Whitaker on 12/26/11 at 11:05 AM Wow, how did I miss this one! Cogratulations for POTD. The rich and well-placed metaphors make this a true joy to read and into my favorites it goes! |
| Posted by Mo Couts on 12/26/11 at 03:46 PM Oh wow, Ava! This is beautiful, heartwrenching and rawly pure at it's core. Breathtaking. Congrats on POTD! It's well deserved for this masterpiece. |
| Posted by George Hoerner on 12/26/11 at 07:01 PM I missed this one also. Congrats on POTD, it certainly is deserving. |
| Posted by Kristine Briese on 12/26/11 at 08:57 PM This is gorgeous; full of a tenuous hope. |
| Posted by Morgan D Hafele on 01/03/12 at 10:19 PM i've read this piece like 12 times over the last 3 days and still don't know what to say other than it blew me away! more than amazing! |
| Posted by Richard Vince on 09/09/23 at 10:58 PM As Julie said, "i want to keep your eyes in a jar, i want to eat them when / i cannot sleep and i want to see the dreams you chose / over me" is incredible. A proper "I wish I had written that" moment. |
