Mar1lyn Monsoon had taken to sex like a drunk to water,
shaken but not sterilized, whereupon
her self-image began to weep hydrolysed pixels.
She commissioned a firm of chartered
cartographers to map her inner child's drives
to the self-serving demands of an inherent
over-compensation culture. The upshot:
a YouTube download of necrotized semen
tattooed across her breasts.

In realizing her mood was too foul for words
she settled on a single expletive, its force
causing her cheeks to flush. The world
was working day and night to create a kingdom
of perpetual leisure; while she slept
in the necromancer's palate, the salient majority
was having the time and a half of its life.

All her life, Mar1lyn had contemplated death;
the theory, the practice, the perfection.
Her theory was based on time to kill ratios.
She practiced regressive equations that imploded
when captured events fail to escape
in chronological order. Perfection?
That could wait until there was no tomorrow.

She recalls her mother's death...
the infamous Hollowood Karaoke Slam;
the demented, but underwrought ironman freak
impersonating Charlton Heston, who mimed
his way through 'Voice of The Voiceless'
and shot everyone that applauded.

She envisaged her own death...
quick and painful; vulgar enough to afford her
instant celebrity status or, at the least
a breaking news scroll on E-SPIN's extreme sports channel.
Given the pleasure component, and an average attention
span somewhat shorter than a White House honeymoon,
she figured that pissing on an electrified audience
might qualify for an entry in Guinness World Retards.

[bio-break -- Phil 'the Bucket' Monsoon]

Mr Monsoon drank himself into liquidation;
the inquest attributed cause to an over-taxed
liver, following a covert operation by the Real IRS.
In evidence, Treasury officials printed statements denying
any connection between themselves and the real IRS
which continues to fund its campaigns in line with
fiscal policy at a notional level. According to BFC NewsGroup,
Mr Monsoon is subject to an investigation
by the Public House Committee on Un-Affordable Activities.
A former director of the fictitious Real IRS
Black Oops unit admitted that everything was deniable.
BFC refutes allegations relating to state-sponsored
television, following a news blackout that resulted in a whitewash.

Dada escaped the confines of his open family
by deportation to a small, but infamously insignificant
dependency somewhere off the Eastern Seaboard.
He and his newly-widowed waif remained in London
after the BritPop bubble was blown out
of all proportion, sold to GlaucoSmithClone tlc
and marketed as a carbonated laxative.

He was recruited by MI7.0, an agency so secret
its existence was known only to selected global exiles
subjected to an extraordinary rendition
of 'Boardwalk' (cover version by The Planks),
despite a 15 minute appearance on Wikipets
during the Afghan Hound Leaks controversy,
an entry attributed to a pool of partially-cited neophiles.

There is no known record of a Mrs Monsoon,
though it is likely she was buried at sea.

12/07/2010

Author's Note: Jonny's left town, hence this post-outtake retrodump of melancholic dust

Posted on 12/07/2010
Copyright © 2024 Laura Doom