daylight gets weaker (haiku)
by Sigurdur Haraldsson
daylight gets weaker
as night gets stronger, longer
Posted on 10/24/2010
Copyright © 2021 Sigurdur Haraldsson
|Member Comments on this Poem|
|Posted by Charlie Morgan on 10/24/10 at 09:42 PM|
|Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 10/25/10 at 02:28 AM|
My fav word "stronger" - it draws me toward Halloween, a nice underlying tension. Thank you.
|Posted by Michael Smith on 10/25/10 at 05:42 AM|
This is the first of yours that I've read and to challenge yourself and write in English is admirable. I like this and I believe I see vividly the notion you are conveying.
Though I'm no expert in haiku by a long-shot, I've learned that haiku need not be in 5-7-5 or have 17 syllables, and the shorter the better, so, my only suggestion here is that you might have been able to convey this with fewer words.
Well done and thank you for sharing!
|Posted by Drew May on 10/25/10 at 02:27 PM|
I too love the use of "stronger" to describe the night.