I cherish, with fondness, the day before I met you.
--Los Campesinos!, "My Year In Lists"

1. distractions from my apartment,
   which, left to its own devices,
   could consume me whole, steal
   weeks upon weeks, but with added
   distractions, only manages to
   steal hours or the stray, vulnerable
   day
   
   
2. places and activities inexorably
   linked to first fond, then difficult
   memories and the associated days
   when I found out that there are parts
   of this city that are off-limits
   
   
3. books I've finished this year,
   assuming I've reached ten
   
   
4. books I've left unfinished this year,
   assuming I can narrow it down to ten
   
   
5. terms of endearment that are off-limits
   for the forseeable future, again assuming
   I can narrow it down to ten
   
   
6. moments when my mood has hinged
   on some triviality or another,
   such as the absence of gin
   or the inability to remove
   a sticker from a plum
   
   
7. ways I have tried to escape or focus
   my mind, only to realize that
   if today decides on being awful,
   it will be awful, no matter how high
   a score I manage on Japanese Bejeweled
   
   
8. other reasons for squandering
   most of my days at one coffee shop
   or another, though admittedly it's
   more one than the other; see item two
   
   
9. days squandered (at coffee shops or elsewhere)
   
   
10. questions or reassurances I wish
    I could never hear again.
    I'm usually fine.
    I'm eating better and getting out.
    I'm planning my future and waiting for it.
    And I know it's coming.
    

08/15/2010

Author's Note: Title comes from the LC! song that serves as epigraph. Better to be thorough than a plagiarist is what my mother always says.

Posted on 08/15/2010
Copyright © 2024 Jason Wardell