Wake up blue
feel more tired
than when you went to sleep

Lie still,
don't move.

Survey room from bed,
see plates of mold concealed by hats
an empty bottle of rum

Hear the phone ring downstairs
don't get up.
Feel guilty

--

Check for post;
Find none.

--

Go to the kitchen,
stand in the middle of the room
stare
from the washing-up to the empty washing-up bottle
sigh inwardly

Look to where a table should be;
in its place are under-the-table items such as a laundry basket and recycling
sit down on the chair that should be next to a table

Stare at the floor until you remember why you're there,
curse your body for feeling hunger

Check cupboards
find no breakfast-food items,
hang off the cupboard door
stare at the dried lentils

Force yourself to fill the kettle with water
and switch on to boil

Slide the bread-bin lid slowly
wonder at its mechanism.
Find an insultingly tiny amount of crust left


Stare

Realise the kettle's not on at the mains

Open housemate's cupboard
feel deflated at the abundance of food
go off on a tangent in your head about how much better they are at life than you.

Stand in something rank and sticky on the floor,
don't bother checking what it is

Pour hot water on tea bag
Steal cheap cereal

Sit on the table-less chair
eat very slowly
taste nothing

Remember the tea and add tea-bag to pile
think of sex and how much you need it

Look at the washing up,
droop
turn on the hot tap
plunge hands in
note the pain

Rinse greasy plates
look outside the window
see the sun,
wish for rain

Feel tired
check the time:
it's still morning

--

Go back to bed
feel empty in the middle
try and hold arm up for as long as possible whilst lying down
count to a hundred and drop

06/26/2010

Posted on 06/26/2010
Copyright © 2024 Rowan Luis