|
Village of the Merrymaids
by Linda FullerThose women who clean your house –
did you ever wonder where they come from?
Yes, it’s the Village of the Merrymaids –
specially created androidesses,
lovely to look at, delightful to utilize.
Got a scrungy toilet you can’t bear to reach into?
Something died in your garbage disposal?
Yes, it’s the Village of the Merrymaids
at your beck and call.
Licensed, bonded, insured, ready to slip
their delicate, flesh-toned hands
into stylish yellow rubber gloves
to clean up after you.
No mess too disgusting! No chore too tedious!
No duty too demeaning for our lovely ladies of grunge.
Has the mildew in your shower reached cash crop proportions?
Is your kitchen sink swimming with salmonella?
Is the pattern in your wallpaper subtly growing?
Do your feet stick to the walls when you’re climbing them?
Our Merrymaids are impervious to the toxic fumes
associated with many household cleaners.
Yes, it’s the Village of the Merrymaids.
They wipe, swipe, mop, sop, dust, remove rust.
They vacuum it up and blow it out.
They’ll scour for hours, they’ll sweep for weeks.
Your silverware they’ll polish, its tarnish they’ll abolish.
Your abattoir will sparkle, your boudoir will shine.
No need to worry about your valuables –
our professional staff have been programmed
not to covet things they would have
no possible use for. Privacy an issue?
Not to worry! These gals have
a no see / no tell way about them.
Concerned about paying workers comp or retirement benefits?
A visit to the Village of the Merrymaids Retirement Scrap Heap
will do little to ease your conscience, but remember –
these lissome lasses aren’t human and don’t need to be treated
any better than your mother-in-law.
(“If You Like Dirt, Don’t Call Us”)
06/13/2010 Author's Note: This is prose, scrunched up.
Inspired, in '99, by Paul Delvaux' The Village of the Mermaids in conjunction with a porch flier.
http://lucy750.vox.com/library/post/paul-delvaux-the-village-of-the-mermaids-poem-by-lisel-mueller.html
Posted on 06/14/2010
Copyright © 2025 Linda Fuller
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 06/14/10 at 12:54 AM Really enjoyed the extended sense of humour throughout this. Reminds me of the family of cleaners (aka MerryMaids) that did my parents house until my mom passed away last October. Kudos. ;o) |
| Posted by Rhiannon Jones on 06/14/10 at 02:45 AM OK, I logged in just to say I completely love this. As a Christmas present this past year, my parents gave me once-a-month cleanings by the merry-maids' top rival (a clear message from ma and pa). I feel completely guilty and ridiculous each time these lovely ladies show up at my door to clean my disgusting house. And I love them (the ladies, and my parents). |
| Posted by Therese Elaine on 06/14/10 at 04:07 AM This is wonderful! It reminded me of this poem...http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/131454-Stephen-Vincent-Benet-Nightmare-Number-Three ...and then of course I couldn't help but have a flashback to Yul Brynner and Westworld...*grin* |
|
