| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Julie Adams on 04/27/10 at 08:10 AM I really enjoy this sort of "moving" poetry, how it dances on the page...the first stanza is very strong visually in relation to it's content, and the breaks and spacing really work with it...the second stanza too works well, but I think I was halted by the capitalized "Fail"--I do realize it is meant to have some emphasis, but for what it is worth, I naturally first read "fall" instead...nevertheless, either would make your point, and there is a certain amount of punch that comes with your version ;P kudos on a crisp little poem that we can all relate to in some form or fashion :) I hope I have not offended in any way, peace n poems to u, jewels |
| Posted by Laura Doom on 04/27/10 at 10:48 AM The satisfying sound of perspectives delivered by meiosis -- certainly not a miscarriage of poetic justice... |
| Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 04/27/10 at 02:02 PM You always bring a bit of style that I don't find anywhere else to these images of yours. This one is wonderful. |
| Posted by Charlie Morgan on 04/27/10 at 04:20 PM ...anita, a delightfully stylistic pome...i love the conepts of icicles, and the falling [tinkling] cool, nita, cool. brrrr. |
| Posted by Morgan D Hafele on 04/27/10 at 04:40 PM it's funny because last night i wrote a piece in my journal that included a broken falling as well. this is much better than what i wrote though. |
| Posted by Erin Eymard on 04/28/10 at 02:43 AM Very moving and I love the symbolism. While the Fail may cause the reader to stop and ponder, I don't see it as a bad thing. |
| Posted by Ava Blu on 04/28/10 at 02:38 PM Your last stanza is breathtaking. |
| Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 05/01/10 at 02:57 PM Great to see this as POTD! Congrats! |
