Subterfuge by V. Blakeeach awful chime that we ignore
belongs to the breathless bones
that swing slowly from the ropes
we made their prior owners hang
from the crests of our bell curves.
and though hypocrisy is a sacrilege
we had no right to tolerate,
we got too drunk on piety
before we could cut them down.
so while echoes of our arrogance
reverberate in the walls
which remind us of the god complex
that we locked ourselves inside,
we find all new ways to ostracize
those we're supposed to love,
and deafen the rest to their reckoning. 02/15/2010 Posted on 02/15/2010 Copyright © 2024 V. Blake
Member Comments on this Poem |
Posted by Amie Golda on 02/15/10 at 09:27 AM The beginning reminds me of a song. I just can't place it but everytime I read that first line I feel it has a tune. And it bears repeating that this: "deafen the rest to their reckoning" is a really impacting line. Of course it's only because of the lines in between the first and the last taht give each end their impact. I enjoyed your wordings too--they become you in a way that's not you. I ftaht makes any sense... |
Posted by George Hoerner on 02/15/10 at 12:48 PM Great write Vince and it seems we all are on some bell curve being measured by someone who believes they are creating a science of us. And we all no coubt get drunk on something, be it wine, whisky, or poetry. |
Posted by Charlie Morgan on 02/15/10 at 03:26 PM ...a headstone's epitath of humankind...a thumb we can't get out-from-under of, eh? love your play with words... |
Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 02/15/10 at 04:34 PM Brilliant use of "chime" - the reader cannot walk away from this one quietly. S1 is my fav, but it is all damning and well done. |
Posted by Therese Elaine on 02/16/10 at 01:08 AM You know, I think Charlie totally nailed it-it IS a sort of epitaph for mankind...and that second stanza has to be one of the most amazing things you've ever written...it drips irony, self-deprecation and denial all in one...a most excellent piece of work, as per usual! |
Posted by Clara Mae Gregory on 02/16/10 at 02:37 AM "we find all new ways to ostracize
those we're supposed to love,
and deafen the rest to their reckoning."
So true.!To me, these are THE strongest lines of this poem, without any ambiguity, whereas, the other lines are more ambiguous, subject to the reader's choice interpretation.(which also makes this a really cool poem, byw)But these last 2 lines are very clear in my ear.
|
Posted by Beth K Hannah on 02/18/10 at 03:44 PM i enjoyed reading and rereading this to find the layers and meanings and logic. well done. |
Posted by Clara Mae Gregory on 02/18/10 at 11:47 PM Yes, this does have many layers of meaning. When I reread, I see or interpret it a little differently each time, and the more I realize how universal the obscured message of the poem really is.It plays with ones mind. :) and I forgot to rate it when I first read it, duh...sorry about that--now it's done. |
|