i once was a self-inflicted bible thumper
throwing scriptures at myself like acid,
burning the deepest most vulnerable
dwellings within my chest. my principal
enemy was me, and i knew how to cripple
my heart with an unrelenting guilt. it
would cover me like a thick blanket, folded
over my shoulders in a great invisible sadness.
the weight of the world and its heaviness
was mine, and i bore it dutifully. i did
my best to live the way i thought was right;
that was expected of me as a wife, a mother
a daughter, a sister, all the while feeling
a restlessness i couldn't seem to overcome.
but now i've cast off this regret and feel
the peace that comes with sweet revelation
and i welcome its never-ending benediction.

02/09/2010