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A Wound in the Universe
by V. Blakei found these words huddling together for warmth
in a sector of hell that the devil himself had to quarantine
after he couldn't get the unreasonably stubborn stains out
from the last party that Hendrix was ever allowed to throw down there.
but after years of suffering brimstone withdrawal, inbreeding,
and over-exposure to dangerously high levels of toxic euphoria,
they were less appalled by my disturbance than they had right to be.
i found them etched into one another's spines like some kind of a syndrome.
and in lieu of localized gossip and rumor about that which they had become,
they frenzied themselves into a strain of propagandist cancer
to justify failures to cease to exist at more opportune moments than these.
and so it was at the conjunction of my own maladjusted wayward tendencies
and the auspices of their own reluctantly metaphysical incompetence
that i stumbled upon this brief conjecture on the anatomy of god.
i found soon after that this vertex of chance and destiny was a fickle one;
for even as these phantoms attempted to relay to me their garbled wisdoms,
the bends in reality that had granted me passage to this place were straightening
and the angles of light breathing life into my acquaintances were slanting anew.
sensing that some cosmic joker had grown weary of his own impressions of time,
i placed my gratitude and business card at the base of this monument to unbelief,
and not for a blink expecting any reciprocation or soulless attempts at reunion,
i found my way back to sleep. 01/31/2010 Author's Note: /poemuary
Posted on 02/01/2010
Copyright © 2024 V. Blake
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Peggie Eng on 02/01/10 at 02:03 AM Whoaa... |
| Posted by Rachel Bennett on 02/01/10 at 02:04 AM *blink*
I really enjoyed reading this aloud, but I only think I digested about half of it. I'll get a good night's rest and try again in the morning.
It's been good doing Poemuary with ya! |
| Posted by Therese Elaine on 02/01/10 at 03:50 AM I've read this so many times -each time finding something new, but in the end only being able to utter, "Wow" -which sounds like a really lame thing to use as a compliment but believe me, it's meant as one...it blows me away and this really is a piece that you should be proud of. |
| Posted by Amie Golda on 02/01/10 at 04:21 AM I think this is my favorite of yours. And I really can't say more than that. (Though I probably will tell you all about it later when I am able to adjust to this boring, normal grounded world after flying through the universe on your vivid imagination that comes to us in the form of this poem.) |
| Posted by Jared Fladeland on 02/01/10 at 06:01 AM i liked the lines about hendrix in hell, as well as the last stanza. good write here |
| Posted by Ava Blu on 02/01/10 at 06:40 PM this is the Vince I know and love, the one who amazes me with his language and imagery. the title is perfect. definitely one of the best ways to end January. |
| Posted by Michael Defries on 02/01/10 at 11:09 PM You are a poet indeed Vince...You string these words together like silly putty, and for some reason the images invoke deep laughter in my belly, but perhaps it's my own perverse nature.
But nonetheless there is something sinister in your writing that I appreciate. First of all, I really like the title, as it is, as grandiose as the piece itself. Secondly, I have to remark on excellent use of the words "maladjusted" "propagandist" and "vertex". I like the dichotomy of realism with fantasy woven together and undertones of self-realization through the lens of metaphysical understanding. Lastly, I appreciate the following lines which each appear to have surreal yet deeply evocative movement within the placement of the piece as to set a nicely hidden crescendo: "devil himself had to quarantine" "brimstone withdrawal" "reluctantly metaphysical incompetence" "garbled wisdoms" "bends in reality". You really like adding "spice" in peculiar places drawing the reader from the ethereal to the mundane with the quickness with your "Hendrix" line...I deffinately appreciate the piece of work...Nicely Done! (This may be my most long-winded comment yet, So much for succinctness. If I'm totally missing the point of this piece then please let me know) Write on Master Yoda! |
| Posted by Michael Defries on 02/01/10 at 11:17 PM Addendum: "bends in reality" - This evokes a vast awareness in itself apart from the original piece. I see into the depths of your comprehension and it is wonderful. "bends in reality" - I challenge you top go there, create a piece with this, open up to this silent tower. It awaits you there in your creative space. Also, "some cosmic joker had grown weary of his own impressions of time" This is definitely another piece, it opens up that you see past the mere appearances of facade and deep into the true nature of people. You have a gift Vince, you are a true observer, capturing magnificence with your mind and putting into play with your mighty pen. This piece is a great way to end the poemuary! Congrats! |
| Posted by Nanette Bellman on 02/02/10 at 12:22 AM This reminds me a lot of something Gabriel Ricard would do but shorter. If literature had a dream sqeuence/stage, you just nailed it. ;) |
| Posted by Lauren Singer on 02/02/10 at 06:03 AM so i normally cannot get into "wordy" poetry, as you can probably tell from my own writing, i try to be as straightforward as possible. but there is something incredibly concise about how the passion of your voice seems to connect with the rapid and vivid way this poem reads. it is a rare feat indeed to be so meaningful with such a varied platter of words.
i loved "monument of disbelief" and everything about the last stanza. |
| Posted by Nicole D Gregory on 02/02/10 at 06:20 AM Holy mother of all that is writing... I bow to you; and ask that you please spend a few more nights fighting with sleep so that we are allowed such amazing reads! I am still working out the imagery which is vivid and red/crimson and seething... and have to go back and read this again. Which I know I will be astounded each time. This stands alone - I can't catagorize it - Its in and of a masterpiece! ~N |
| Posted by Ann Mills on 02/27/10 at 09:03 PM I like it. |
| Posted by Elizabeth Jill on 03/17/10 at 04:58 PM m i n d b l o w i n g |
| Posted by Andrea Colton on 01/29/11 at 07:53 PM Wow. Sometimes I find when reading wordy pieces of work there ends up being somewhat of a lack of substance. All those words and OK and the point is? kind of thing... But this, I would describe it as thick. Absolutely loaded. And trust me, that's a good thing. :) |
| Posted by Veronica Phoenics on 12/01/13 at 01:07 PM Ah, pleased to have found you here, and to read your work again. This is true to your style, and I, as a reader,heart in throat, rushing to read and going back again to comprehend, wondering if you are playing a joke on me, and understanding the joke is no joke at all. Beautiful, I love your writing. |
| Posted by Philip F De Pinto on 12/16/14 at 01:45 PM Dantesque in its approach, this ode flows so Divine Comedy like. |
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