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Loose particles
by Julie Adamsin the window, the native dreamcatchers twirl,
they dance and sing a rainbow of color, of light
there is a tunnel of energy, a wind rushing through me
like a railroad apartment with windows wide-open at both ends
even now it moves my sheer drapes to elation,
whirring sediments of ideas, loose particles of poems
shimmering in long streams of golden light
in their solitude, the native poets scribe,
they dance and sing a rainbow of ideas, of light
01/28/2010 Posted on 01/28/2010
Copyright © 2024 Julie Adams
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Joan Serratelli on 01/28/10 at 09:31 PM You write so beautifully. Your writing flows. Your word choice; the imagry- everything about this piece is lovely. Excellent work! |
| Posted by Joe Cramer on 01/28/10 at 09:41 PM ... wonderful Jewels, wonderful..... |
| Posted by Rachel Bennett on 01/29/10 at 12:53 AM I like how the outer stanzas are exploding with light, but the middle stanza uses imagery of light and energy instead. Great write! |
| Posted by Michael Smith on 01/29/10 at 11:34 PM This is terrific, Jewels! We are easily immersed into the moment... once the second stanza kicks off, we can feel the wind, and you've picked such strong images too -- who wouldn't know exactly what a "railroad apartment" would feel like? And that wasn't enough, you had to open both windows :P It's definitely breezy in here. I get such a lucid experience from this. Honestly, this already deserves full marks (IMHO), but if the sensation of smell was somehow worked in, it'd bring Goliath down.
One other thing I'd like to mention: the dichotomy you've created between the dreamcatchers and the poets is very interesting. I really like how you've unified them [indirectly?] through the tunnel and what not. If this corresponds to some beautiful thing you've been observed lately, that's great and I reckon you've done an awesome job manifesting it for everyone else. Excellent poetry, Jewels.
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| Posted by Sandy M. Humphrey on 02/03/10 at 06:08 PM I love the idea of dreams twirling through the apartment giving you inspiration, beautiful are your writings and I am glad your dreamcatcher is there to catch them. smh |
| Posted by Beth K Hannah on 02/23/10 at 08:53 PM your imagery is vibrant. |
| Posted by Roger J Kenyon on 02/16/11 at 06:28 PM I was dormant this morning Julie until I read this great, evocative poem. Now I need to write something. Thank you. |
| Posted by Morgan D Hafele on 02/19/11 at 05:56 PM gorgeous. |
| Posted by Kristine Briese on 02/20/11 at 03:34 PM "sing a rainbow" - such beautiful imagery! |
| Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 06/21/14 at 01:21 PM I really like thinking of poets as dream catchers. Loved that second stanza. |
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