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b e n o w h e r e
by Michael Smith
You've just arrived
but you're almost gone;
no recollection
of where you're from.
You writhe inside
and you don't know why;
beyond comprehension
is whence you've come.
Just close your eyes
and disappear;
attached to nothing,
you no longer fear.
Release your mind
and return to nature;
one with the rhythm,
you're on your way here.
07/17/2006 Author's Note:
Partially redeeming myself for the atrocity I posted earlier.
Update 1/26/10: Laura's advice was perfect and I've updated the poem accordingly. Thanks, Laura!
Posted on 01/26/2010
Copyright © 2024 Michael Smith
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Amie Golda on 01/26/10 at 02:08 AM What atrocity? Well anyway, about this, this is great. Simple but sensible and over all memorable. I love how your lines connect. |
| Posted by Therese Elaine on 01/26/10 at 04:28 AM I'm with Amie -what atrocity? I can't recall you ever posting anything that could be described as such! First line is a fantastic opener but really it's a nicely compact piece of introspection -I'm really beginning to think I need to indulge in more brevity!!! |
| Posted by Nanette Bellman on 01/26/10 at 04:46 AM Short simple and sweet, yet plenty of room for the reader to fill in the knicks and crany's for their own relation. |
| Posted by Laura Doom on 01/26/10 at 07:42 PM I disagree -- we all need to generate the occasional atrocity, if only to enhance the favourable impression left by our 'successes' :>
Not that I'm aware of the pertinent post, but I have enough of my own to accept the validity of your judgement; and, of course, everyone has their own standards...
Meanwhile, back to the present -- this has a somewhat Jungian abstract, and yes, it's admirably stark without losing its capacity for opacity.
A suggestion (for rhythmic purposes); S2 L4 'is whence you've come' (?)
Anyway Michael, I'd consider redemption attained :> |
| Posted by Scott Utley on 01/27/10 at 08:11 PM You are speaking to everyman here ... Krishnamurti speaks like this ... and who doesn't adore Krishnamurti? |
| Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 01/28/10 at 01:56 AM A simple rhyme pattern that delivers a simple, enduring message. Well done. |
| Posted by Paul Lastovica on 10/01/15 at 04:26 AM I'd rather be nowhere, than somewhere... coming to terms with where one is is requisite to going where one needs to be next. Nowhere is where to learn that; somewhere is next. The Journey & The Destination are interchangeable joys equally important to one another, and to the reflective space between action and inaction. In other words: I'm on my way :) |
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