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the new electric sound

by Rachel Bennett

you gotta make it swing, like
clompy keyboard chords or
the silent masses jamming to
that certain swivel of the hips,
swiveling the syncopation that
twists into high tight flame.

01/03/2010

Author's Note: Poemuary #3. Hopefully 4-31 will be better.

Posted on 01/03/2010
Copyright © 2024 Rachel Bennett

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Michael Smith on 01/04/10 at 05:53 AM

You needn't be negative: this is very good. I find it quite evocative (the alliteration helps), and it flows excellently. It's also somewhat mysterious to me.

Good luck on your Poemuary adventure this month :)

Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 01/05/10 at 04:41 AM

I like the way you put together a sentence - I don't know how else to say it. Loved the "clompy keyboard chords" and the "swiveling.. syncopation". I also like how this ends on that tight high note, a sound extending on beyond these words.

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