i'm not going to be the one to say i miss you first
it's just plain lying if we pretend to be numb
it doesn't count when you're two feet below snow
holding the white flag above your hat


i'm not going to dig you out


beneath the layers you are warm
you are becoming a caveman
with your drawings of lost love
and 30 ways to being co-dependent


you are not seeing the sun rise right now
with your sunglasses fogged 
and your idea that a woman has to be on her knees in order to breathe


i'm going to let you stay there


nestled within, white flag waving
as if you need to be saved
as if you'd actually want to give in


i'm waiting out the storm
waiting out the leaves turning green
beneath ice


my hands are frozen here
their shape crumbling under the force


i want to rip the flag away from you
tear it into tiny pieces of whiteness 
and shove them in your mouth


i won't hold you to any promises
i know how difficult it can be to stand up straight
when you're so used to bending over


the lights are flashing now
any minute they'll be by to pick you up
take you away to some deserted airport
fly you any place you wish to be
and i know it won't be here


it will never be here again.



01/02/2010
Posted on 01/02/2010
Copyright © 2024 Ava Blu

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Allison Smith on 01/02/10 at 10:10 PM
Absolutely adored this piece. Favourite.
Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 01/02/10 at 10:49 PM
Those second and third stanzas are absolute treasures of great imagery. There's been a lot of rage in some of your recent work. This one does indeed still have that same kind of thing going for it, but it also manages for something a little more complex than just basic, white-hot anger. This reads like the thought process of someone who is working out their thoughts aloud. You do that so well here.
Posted by Jo Halliday on 01/03/10 at 03:27 PM
Brilliantly put the whole thing!
Posted by Glenn Currier on 01/05/10 at 03:04 PM
"30 ways to being co-dependent"  - reminds me of Paul Simon's "50 ways to leave your lover."  Co-dependence IS a way to leave someone but insanely holding on with one hand clinched onto the pant cuff.  Being in the middle of another's dysfunction is a special challenge to the spirit.  I hear the struggle in your poem.  Thanks for sharing.
Posted by Michael Smith on 01/06/10 at 04:21 AM
With a line like that first one, you know what's gonna come after is going to be edgy and insightful. You're right, girl, he ain't worth it.

LIke most of your work, this is fresh and flows excellently. It immersed me easily. Great job, as always, Ava.