Have you ever felt lost
in your happily ever after,
like you’re waiting for a ship
that has supposedly already come in?
Complacent slumber surrounds
me yet I cannot sleep, feels like I’ve been up
for weeks and just can’t come down, can’t seem to rest
my feet on anything resembling solid ground.
These keys even feel foreign to my fingertips, my sanctuary
slipping. Yes, I’m slipping. What is this
thing called love that is supposed to save me
from myself and everything else? Abundant in its presence,
I should be content, not restless, not like this. I can’t quit,
believing that there’s more…

I feel as if I have betrayed you,
my faithful companion. Like a lover gone astray
I seek solace in menial things, bury my head
in the chest of what is untrue though it pleases me
for the moment. Justify it as I may, it isn’t you.
It has been so long since I have visited your bare canvas…
I must leave you wanting. Ironic since I am wanting too,
and in the worst possible way. Why do I restrain
the weight of what is true when all it wants
is to be freed by you? I am a prisoner unto myself.
I am not a religious person, yet seek a savior daily.

My passion burns low, smoldering
like a snuffed candle trying to hold on
to any semblance of heat. The chemistry
I once thrived on is now a deep void in this
abyss, the blue that encases me
reaching deep places
that once held you.

07/31/2009

Posted on 07/31/2009
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