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A Load of Codswallop

by Jim Benz

I was studying the negative theology
of cabbages when I awoke with a start.
Another revelation: neither kimchi nor its brine
as we understand them in the physical realm
apply to God. The black dirt of my little plot
was dry from drought, and I had clearly
not been weeding. As if by design, an indigo
child from down the block dropped by
and proceeded to rearrange my garden gnomes.
No one was allowed to speak his name
so all I could do was swing my hoe
at his knees and beg for wisdom. The child
was not perturbed. "If there are persons
who at a later age are weak-minded," he opined,
"one can be sure they have had worms
when they were young." Even my Forsythia
began to weep at this precocious quip,
but what could I say? That my soul would bloom
in love, like Rudolf Steiner, for all existence?
He was a very promethean child, one might
even say demented (though in a radiant sense),
so I put aside my hoe and offered him a glass
of cabbage juice. He wouldn't bite. He wouldn't
even weasle for something sweet, like Coke
or 7 Up. It was midafternoon and the sun
was ardent. I sensed its pinchers chewing
like a weevil at the roots of my forbearance.
Little Otik, as I secretly called him, refused
to even sweat. As he stood there, woodenly drilling
his gaze into the disambiguation of my languid
frown, I could feel the worm inside my colon
start to turn. "To say that God has loved man
more than cabbages is a joke," he said
with immaculate patience. "Perhaps
you should fetch me some water instead."
Somewhere in my head, a seed began to sprout.
Another revelation: at my feet, a garden
hose, and on its mouth, a dowsing nozzle. "Kid,"
I said predictably, "It's time to run."

07/02/2009

Posted on 07/02/2009
Copyright © 2020 Jim Benz

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 07/04/09 at 01:58 AM

So many choice phrases in this. Almost an Alice in Wonderland world - I shall call it Benzworld and looking for the divine - "As he stood there, woodenly drilling his gaze into the disambiguation of my languid frown, I could feel the worm inside my colon start to turn. "To say that God has loved man more than cabbages is a joke," he said with immaculate patience. " Much thanks for this gem.

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