I am a superstitious man
So walking on cracks in the sidewalk
Or reaching down to pet black cats
Is not in my repertoire.

Neither was writing you
When I most needed to do that.

To know what I feared
Overwhelmed by the fear of the knowing.
To believe the worst and hope
For the best
Not wanting the outcome to be
Decided by any thought I had to the contrary

I have not some shade of doom hanging in
My window
However, it seems what I wish for most
Never transpires, as if the Fates,
Taunting me with their caprice,
Wait for its expression
Before denying its feeble hope

So you understand:
I wanted to know
And badly
I muttered the wished-for outcome in
Sleep and waking hours
I did not pray for it, though;
I thought such supplication
In a world of misery unfair
To an already put-upon deity.

But boy did I
Pray when I heard you weren’t
Leaving.

06/30/2009

Posted on 06/30/2009
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