when i think of poetry these days I think of pain
because no one seems to remember happy.
not that i ever have a lot of positive to say,
pessimist for life, or at least a few more days.
my mind has become a detachable penis,
it keeps fucking me, making it about as useful as a dead fetus
festering away in a bio-hazard bag,
thoughts like that used to make me a little sad,
but then i was a boy who didn't think he'd ever grow up.
now i am a man so up i have grown, but my brain doesn't cooperate, leaving me an empty body.
each step i take i leave a little behind
i'm so scattered now i don't know what's mine,
but surely there must be something to claim
i have my memories, but so few remain.
a summer of love and hard drugs to the brain,
they seem to have wiped most everything clean.
the cigarettes i smoked for so long before
have left me coughing like a $2 whore.
my lungs catch fire with every breath
and they only ever seem to ask me for death.
i guess i'm still human because i keep fighting for life
despite all of my faults i'd rather not die.
though i may not have much to claim as my own
and i may not have a place i can really call home
i have my friends so i'm never alone
i have the best family that money can't buy,
love like this doesn't fall from the sky.
it's these trials we've shared
and the limits we've dared
to cross new roads in search of our paths
we don't always know exactly where we're at,
but sometimes i've found that it's best to be lost
though finding a new way can sometimes cost
a fee that we may not be ready to pay
i've seen so many lives lost at too young an age.
when you're 6 years old accidental death doesn't make much sense,
but that doesn't make the loss any less.
i suppose without the pain the pleasure wouldn't be as sweet.
without our tribulations the joy wouldn't mean a thing.

01/31/2009

Author's Note: i wrote this after a poetry slam i went to. there were some amazing poets there, but it seemed like everyone wrote about sad stuff, and i know i do the same more often than not, and i have been told by some friends that this piece seems depressing, but i meant for it to be a little up lifting... i don't know...

Posted on 03/19/2009
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