i went to Brooklyn
to meet up with Bedford,
a guy i've never met.
i promised his best friend Sean,
who's my best friend Sean
that i would make him lasagna.
it's his favorite,
but i've never met Sean either.
when Bedford picked me up
from the train station
he was holding a sign that said
"i fuck on the first date".
it was at that moment i knew
i had met my match.
we walked the streets to Sean's apartment.
on the way, Bedford told me about this girl
that Sean invited over for dinner too.
how there's a enough gas between them
to start a forest fire
but no spark to get it started.
he said that it was up to him and i
to do something.
from the first word he spoke of it,
i already had a plan set in motion.
Sean welcomed me with open arms
and hands full of pots and pans,
hugged me, and told me
"get to work girl! i'm starving!"
shortly after i started cooking
there was a knock at the door.
it was her.
Sean took her coat,
walked her in the kitchen
and introduced her to me.
i held my right hand behind my back
and offered my left for her to shake.
she shook it loosely and turned away.
i pulled my hidden hand from behind my back
and nailed her in the head with a frying pan
that i held hostage the entire introduction.
she fell to the floor.
Bedford grabbed her upper half
and i took the bottom.
we drug her to Sean's bed,
grabbed our coats
and before we walked out the door
i gave him instructions.
"when she starts to come to,
tell her some one broke in
and hit her and you warded them off.
you'll be her knight in shining armor."
Bedford and i left Sean to his dream.
we wandered the city
and bought pizza from a street vendor.
we picked all the pepperoni off
and placed them on the side view mirrors
of parked cars.
we played ring around the rosie
with a few homeless people
and gave them $5 bucks each
just for the laughs.
it was 2:17 in the morning.
Bedford looked at me and said,
"Sean told me you had eyes that should be admired.
He was right."
i laughed.
"what? you think that's a line?" he said.
"no. a line would be more like this...
wannabe "just friends" in the morning?"
