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for the girl who would never take my hand

by Rachelle Howe

i am a tapestry.
you weave me with silk tongue and
silver backbreath, your windows washed
with pretty anesthetics which
tell me that i've lasted too long
in this sallow.

but oh, i wished for you.
how i wished for you,
and yet i came for you.

wanting from this wanton prison,
wanting to be white washed, and
given to the intricate details
of which i would never fit.

no, i would never be a wicker basket,
woven into your perfect my-name-is-sally-
this-is-my-paper-doll-named-brian mode.

no, i would never be cross stitched
into the two point five children:
those embryos without limbs or flesh.

oh, but i wished for you.
how i wished for you,
and yet i came for you.

i came for you
with pools of lithium.
retina to retina, you stared point blank
with an atom bomb at your heels;
stared deep into the
recesses of my WD-40, MK 47 darkness.
and yet, I stare back. resolved,

bitten, broken,
yet still here,
yet still, staring:
glacier will set,
set, tombstone.
embellished,
and undone.

02/19/2009

Author's Note: And yet, now, you get to own this.

Posted on 02/20/2009
Copyright © 2022 Rachelle Howe

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 02/20/09 at 03:06 AM

What can I say? I've missed the hell out of your work, and this pretty much does a damn good job of proving why. Beautiful, lyrical, brutal and a hell of an engaging read. Welcome back.

Posted by Jason Wardell on 02/20/09 at 03:09 AM

Got damn if it isn't good to see something from you again. This is heartcrushingly beautiful. It kills, absolutely.

Posted by George Hoerner on 02/20/09 at 02:01 PM

Taking a hand can be even more scary than saying hello. Touch is so much more than sound unless it's a scream. Well done lady.

Posted by Nanette Bellman on 02/20/09 at 04:30 PM

this is so deep and vivid. such great images. i love the paper doll line too.

Posted by Laura Doom on 03/05/09 at 01:35 PM

The 'owner' must know you don't belong in a sallow.

Posted by Lori Johnson on 05/05/09 at 05:59 PM

Whoa, rocked my world with this one...typical of you if my memory serves me correctly! LOL

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