Afoot (A Shakesperian Sonnet) by Alison McKenzieI wish to lie afoot awhile in fields
Where sorrow cannot find me in the fray
And you, my love, are covered not by shields
And we are not entrenched by disarray
I wish for you to fly away and dream
Your sweetest thirst and wisdom come to light
Of waking as entirety would deem
To find your passion, joyous in delight
If wishes could but make our world turn round
For you to spin but once upon those heels
And take me into arms and kiss surround
Unmasking truth and all that fear conceals
Alas I cannot find your bending smile
And so, I wish to lie afoot awhile
01/27/2009 Author's Note: My first sonnet, done for a homework assignment for my poetry class - Shakespearean iambic pentameter (though I'm unsure if I have the short-to-long concept correct!)
Posted on 01/27/2009 Copyright © 2025 Alison McKenzie
Member Comments on this Poem |
Posted by Ken Harnisch on 01/27/09 at 01:19 PM If this is your fist Alison, I hope it will not be your last..this is classic! |
Posted by Ken Harnisch on 01/27/09 at 01:20 PM First*..:) |
Posted by George Hoerner on 01/27/09 at 02:08 PM Very nice Alison! I recall in high school, that was a long time ago, writing sonnets after reading Shakespeare. |
Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 01/27/09 at 02:49 PM That's a better first-try than a lot of people could manage, believe me. For a first try, it's pretty damn good. |
Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 01/27/09 at 03:46 PM Marvelous first sonnet! |
Posted by Elizabeth Jill on 01/28/09 at 03:10 PM From word to word, meter to meter ~ every lilt of this comes easy to understand and flows into itself. Perfect! |
Posted by Scott Utley on 01/29/09 at 04:35 AM BRILLIANT! BRAVO! BRAVO! But ... what studied torments tyrant hast for me? What new or older torture must I receive? When I say the Queen - the Queen! The dear'st, sweetst Queen ... is DEAD ... and vengeance not dropped down yet! She's dead! I swear it! If you can bring tincture to her eyes, luster to her lips, I would love thee as I do the Gods. Therefore, take thee to nothing but despair. (See what you have done to me by your stunning, sublime, mistress-piece? Bravo!What a refreshing walk in the sun! |
Posted by James Zealy on 01/29/09 at 03:44 PM Ali if you can write, you can write. You have a nice command of language and what combination of words not only meet the requirementm but are pleasing to the minds ear and deliver a potent message as well. Great job. |
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