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God Sale

by Christopher J Davidson

Well, hello, friend!
Can I interest you in a god?
No? Why everyone needs one.
Let me tell you what we have to offer...

We've got large gods, small gods,
Fat ones, skinny ones
Big beer drinkin' gods, and little itty bitty ones,
Gods of the future, gods of the past
Some are just temporary
Some will last.

Gods of judgement and anger and wrath
Gods that will happily light your path
Gods of sex and happiness and love
Gods from below, from the middle and above.

Gods of wind and fire and water
A god for your son and a god for your daughter
A god to uplift you, a god to breed
A god for food and a god for greed
A god that's a spirit, disappearing in a plume
A god for each and every room;

A god for enlightening all of your 'selves'
Heck, we've got gods in the shapes of elves.

A god with no arms or eight or twenty
If you want a god, I assure, we have plenty.

If you don't like the one's that we have to offer
Then take up some clay, be your god's potter
You can mold it and shape it to your specifications
It will live up to your every expectation.
Just give it a name and some traits or whatever
Make it what you want, isn't that clever?

Gods not your thing, then step in this aisle
We've got devils and demons that are mean and vile
We've got potions and pills and root medications.
We've got books on projection and meditation.

For the atheist we've got something to fill the void
It's painting of Darwin evolving into Freud.
Oh, that one? No one wants this old thing
You want something with style, something with zing.
No, the God of Abraham model's not for sale
So I can't rightly sell it, but it's nice and detailed.
No, that one's for free cause it's all been pre-paid
But nobody wants it cause it's not tailor-made.

Hey, wait. Where you going? I've got more to tell.
There's a hundred more gods I'd be willing to sell,
All backed with a warranty for twenty-five years
And a guarantee so you know you've got nothing to fear.

Well, fine, since you're so insistent to leave
Here's a coupon for next time. Present it and receive
A second god free, with the purchase of one.
Have a nice day. Thanks for the company, son.


Posted on 01/13/2009
Copyright © 2020 Christopher J Davidson

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 01/13/09 at 04:44 PM

Humor and more. I think you've got us humans pegged pretty well, Christopher. Thank you.

Posted by A. Paige White on 01/13/09 at 05:22 PM

This is fantastic! My favorite stanza is the ninth. You pegged us with this one.

Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 01/13/09 at 05:47 PM

Call me crazy, but this makes me think of Shel Silverstein. Really good work, man

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