"So okay... okay, boy... so we
get up in the morning and the
whole world's covered with ice, eh?
It's as if some primordial Canadian
authority-figure has pulled a gun
and hollered, 'Freeze!' by the Jeez!

So okay... okay, boy... nothing's
moving nowhere and our hands are
up in the air, when the cat takes
a running jump out the door and
just slides away... must've took
one look at all that ice, I guess,
and decided she could probably
make it to the barn next door,
wriggling and writhing on the
slick, hard surface of the ice
until she figured out how to sort
of skate on her tiny retractable
claws, and the ice-broken branches
are crashing down all over the place!

So okay... okay, boy... so she then
performs a few fancy moves and
disappears over the hill, must be
headed for the kitty-cat ice-capades,
I suppose, along with a couple of
wild-eyed photographers and two or
three of them idiotic criminals like
they have on T.V. - who are trying to
get away with some heavy equipment -
and a bunch of Mounties in big spiked
boots, coming over the horizon, and
hollering, 'Freeze!'"

12/14/2008