Forgive me for being
a hopeless romantic
and terminally old-fashioned,
but you have to be
the angriest broad
to ever stab me in the shoulder.

Huh, come on, that wasn't anger,
just me taking playfulness
a bit too far for a man of your...
uh - sensitivity.
Reckoned it was time for you
to cash in that chip,
so I decided to move
the decision-making process along.
Think of it as a token of affection.
Most guys I know
would have been grateful
I didn't twist on entry,
and you're most guys I know
rolled into one and a fraction
maybe a quarter, maybe a dime.
Something and nothing,
but who's counting anyway?
Figures never did me any favours.

I'm glad you feel that way,
because I wanted to mention
something about the way
I completely misunderstood
how beautiful you look.

I should have smashed
a couple more of those
red lights but good.

It probably would have
benefited us immensely
to stay in that dark room
and work on taking
some smarter dirty pictures.

Part of me wants to go back
to a couple of hours ago,
when we were content
to be staggeringly hammered
and infinitely content.

But a much larger part of me
has seen you smile over
breakfast and the sun digging
its heels into the small of my back.

Well, if I didn't know better
I might take that as sweetness
even savour it a little.
But we both know
the part that's in denial
has seen me throw up over breakfast
and simulate radiation sickness
on days the sun refused to rise.

Have you considered that
someday I might tire of running
as the candidate for
the sex-on-legs party?
For all I know
this is a sweetener,
and I'm just another job
begging for overtime,
waiving my non-union rights.
I don't see labour doing me any favours.

On a good day, we could be royalty,
treat this thing as a vocation,
you know - an extended holiday...

Sure, love.
Whatever you say, love.
However you feel, love.

Why stop at just a good day though?

We could strike the heart
of an extraordinary day
and laugh like Blanche Dubois
in a butterfly net built
for one and a half.

But to be totally honest,
to go for something refreshingly
different from last night
I see that happening,
sometime between the advent
of commercial-free TV
and world peace breaking out.

In any case,
just get your things
and get the hell out of here.

I think I need to see a doctor,
and you sure as hell
ain't no doctor.

Well at least you got something right.
Not that it would help you none,
no doctor this side of science fiction
has a cure for the state you're in.

You never really struck me
as being the violent type,
but now I can see
the other side of the picture.
Which reminds me...
I want those negatives before I go.

Take them.
Just take them.

But at least have the decency
to leave the way I think
we came in at last night.

At least have the decency
to leave your phone number
for another rainy day.

You know,
just in case I still can't learn
from my consistent mistakes.

12/04/2008

Author's Note: Once again, it was gabe's dubious privilege to nurse me through the literary process with his usual desiccated humour and infinite patience :>
It would be churlish of me not to mention his exceptional creative writing talents, but I won't because, well, that's just the way I am...

Posted on 12/04/2008
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