Hang in there. He'll come around. The Mother-son thing is REALLY complicated.

Complex emotions. I don't know how our hearts survive parent-child relationships through adolescence. Nevermind our hearts. I don't know how we survive it on any level, really. Love.

...genevieve, you're reading my mail over my shoulder, i'm tortured by those lil nuances the we human beings employ...essentially if we don't have someone's eyes, we don't have their ears...yours is much deeper in this river, i understand and i don't mean platitudes, just i know, i know...my32 yr.old. Texas Univerity graduate thinks i can't perceive her irksome-ness in answering a cell phone, which shows who's calling...go figger, you and i were perfect...

Lots of emotion on both sides. Hang tough. He sounds like he's doing very well.

You know that I know your plight, your heart in this. Now my son has had his own son, and he's still grappling with growing up away from me. It's too easy for us "away" parents to be a convenient "place" to store all the difficult memories, all the pain of their childhoods. I bear that load, but not easily at times. It's a sting I often feel, and I'm sure, will continue to feel. Time is the only remedy, and sometimes I wonder about it. But all you can do, darling Mama, is know that your worth as a mommy, as a friend, as a person is seen in SOOOOOOO many other places.....and wait it out. Just know you're not alone out there.

Heartbreaking and flawlessly written, but, really, speaking as someone who's been around children his whole life (three brothers and a sister, all younger, and a godson), I don't think you should worry just yet. It's enormously complicated, and I wouldn't begin to seriously analyze a mother-son relationship like yours. But speaking as someone who's watched my three brothers and their extremely distinct (from each other) relationships with my mother, not to mention my own relationship with her, I can tell that it's definitely something fraught with a thousand twists and turns, countless moments passing and changing in the course of seconds. You're a good mother, and though I can't say for sure and won't say for sure, I suspect he knows this. If I had to guess, I'd say that a time will come soon when he makes this known to you. In the meantime, keep being the amazing person you already are. You're doing fine, and I'm pretty sure your son loves you with all his heart.

This poem is so heartfelt and I ache for you. You conveyed these feeling so well.

gen, what an amazing piece! my eyes watered as i read it. one day, he will look back and thank you, be there, one day. my prayers are with you