I feel guilty to love my alone time
so much,
the dishwasher an oceanic hum in the backround,
my fingers tingling with solitude.

Sometimes, well, more than
sometimes, I contemplate leaving you,
and then I dive deeper into that thought,
it is thick with multiple meanings and
hidden motives,

I picture my life minus a you,
I would move to Brooklyn,
an overpriced apartment is easy to find there,
and I would be alone with the drone of my
long thoughts,
I would take baths and wonder about my decision to
leave you. Was it correct? And


What is a correct decision?
Every choice I make
eventually involves me looking back
and picturing the other, if I had
made it.

I will leave you, eventually.
I am almost positive, although
that thought is not really
thinking positive.

I only know because I know myself
and I know my bad decisions follow me
around, birds trailing in my shadow
for breadcrumbs.

I welcome their soft chatter,
and welcome my wrong turns,

as long as it's me, making them.

10/23/2008

Posted on 10/24/2008
Copyright © 2024 Anastasia Selby