she's not that pretty.
I don't mean to be catty
but really,
she's quite plain:

crooked front teeth
weird hair
no butt.

she's not even that smart.
I mean, she's not dumb,
but she's not exactly the brain trust.

you'll never find her in a cafe
discussing politics
or Nietzsche
or the stock market.

she can't cook,
doesn't clean.

she almost never smiles.
she doesn't help little old ladies
cross the street.
she doesn't own a dog.

honestly,
I don't know
what she actually does...

except steal all my boyfriends.

12/01/2005