Laying lazily in his office
on the ironically comfortable couch
(is it three times a week now???)
he asked me the question
the question that forever haunts a soul
that seldom can ever be answered

apparently idolizing Freud, with his cigar in hand
asking me so nonchalantly it took me aback
“Are you happy?”

It triggered a memory
Of clear blue waves attacking
the white wet sand between my toes
as the sun hit my shoulders, sending a
beautiful chill down my spine

followed by the first time
I heard the sound of the 12 string guitar
Blaring into my ear drum and since
My heart had beaten
to the rhythm G cord

followed by my first real kiss
when he grabbed me by the coat
as the train pulled into the station
his lips reminded me of the taste of a creamsicle as my tongue slipped past them
meeting his halfway
Since then though
The beaches in the east are
in no wave length comparison
soiled with syringes, pollution
and no waves but occasional movement
from the jet ski’s a few miles out

followed by the time in my life
where music was all I heard and ate and slept and loved
so much so that I can no longer hear
the guitar’s beautiful song as clear as before
with warning from the audiologist that I will no longer hear past 30
(“Keep it up and you’ll need a hearing aid!”)

my first loves kiss
now a memory of a time when
it was crippling to be so young
lite weight of my first few years
heavy enough to stop me from flying free with him
but not heavy enough to keep my feet on solid ground
and change the course of the events it followed.

I hear him repeat again, “Are you happy?”
sounding irritated I went into my world

I felt like telling him that his teachers lied
That there IS such a thing as a stupid question…

04/29/2008

Posted on 04/29/2008
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