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Killing Time

by Chris Sorrenti


I've learned not to spend a lot of money
on his wristwatches...alarm clocks
having witnessed firsthand
the madness and genius
of a depressive mind

for my son and others like him
time doesn't exist at all
yesterday...today...tomorrow
one in the same
for unlike those with a healthy outlook
these unfortunates
know the true meaning of eternity

in how it stares menacingly
from every timepiece
mocks them
for their sense of hopelessness

for some
the ticking and tocking
prove too much
in desperation
they make the ultimate leap of faith
both towards and away from
that which unwinds them

but for others
not ready to give in
there's a temporary solution
to a permanent problem
with hammer
their genius and madness
put to good use
time stopped dead in its tracks

for shattered faces and hands
speak not of
seconds...minutes...or hours
gears violently disassembled
in one powerful blow
tick tock infernally no more

luckily
there's still hope for my son
for with therapy and patience
as the days...weeks...
months progress
the time between clean ups
grows longer


 photo Bentclockby SalvadorDali.jpg


© 2001
Painting by Salvador Dali

3,720 hits as of March 2024

04/28/2008

Posted on 04/28/2008
Copyright © 2024 Chris Sorrenti

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by A. Paige White on 04/28/08 at 08:40 PM

The combination of your poetry and the Dali are extremely moving. "both towards and away from that which unwinds them" is a mothlike flutter among the springs and gears and the reader can almost hear the tears of your voice. Beautiful, Chris.

Posted by Charlie Morgan on 04/28/08 at 10:13 PM

...chris, i am wordy, you know that and so it's like the kid who yelled 'dike' price paid, eh? but i'll say something about this pome...it walloped me and i mean a good-wallopin' too, half way thru, i realized you started me one way and i's headed another and loving every minute of it...got me into a whirlwindfrenzy of 'time'...the slayer o' me! and i loved how you tagged it[time] good! chris, this is such a keeper, such a keeper..charlie

Posted by Quentin S Clingerman on 04/29/08 at 12:51 AM

Deeply moving, an unsentimental description of depression (of whatever type), yet compassionate. Insight and empathy. May God not only keep you strong in helping your son but may your son continue to improve by His grace.

Posted by Alison McKenzie on 04/29/08 at 06:21 AM

And as he learns to manuever through his difficulties, he'll see more and feel more to appreciate. Time is a funny thing anyway, and the geniuses of the world know that it's just a subjective boundary to help the rest of us deal with the progression of events. This is an interesting piece that twinkles with a certain clever wisdom...a very stimulating read!!!

Posted by Ken Harnisch on 04/30/08 at 12:23 PM

As quietly amazing a metaphor as I've ever read here, Chris..my best to your son...may his time become precious as he emerges from darkness.

Posted by Sandy M. Humphrey on 04/30/08 at 09:47 PM

What I like most is that you have learned not to buy the watches and clocks so much of dealing with anothers illness is learning how to live with its impact on us and you have learned that poetry heals. What a gift to put you words to such and impactful painting and to see your son in the painting...my thoughts with you and yours through all you go through. smh

Posted by Bruce W Niedt on 05/01/08 at 12:59 AM

Taking the famous painting and tying it metaphorically to your son's illness is a brilliant stroke, Chris. Time definitely looks different to one in the throes of such a condition. I always thought Dali's works were a stone's throw from madness anyway. I agree with Charlie that the best line is "both towards and away from/ that which unwinds them...."

Posted by Morgan D Hafele on 05/02/08 at 04:38 PM

what is a healthy outlook? i don't know that's for sure, but it definitely has me thinking about time relation... i've never been able to make much sense of it myself...

Posted by Gregory O'Neill on 05/02/08 at 08:56 PM

Well said, Chris. Time is a versatile performer. It flies, marches on, heals all wounds, runs out, and will tell. Hoping most for healing here. Thanks.

Posted by Charles E Minshall on 05/02/08 at 10:26 PM

May time heal the wounds....CharMin

Posted by Elizabeth Shaw on 05/05/08 at 02:24 AM

powerful in its simplicity, yet your timepiece speaks volumes re. the complex turmoil underpinging. Thank you for sharing.

Posted by Elizabeth Jill on 05/08/08 at 02:05 PM

I have endured what this speaks of, and so - I understand it deeply. Powerful, Chris, how you have perfectly painted with your words - the buriedness of the Illness of Depression and its unrelenting episode of pain.

Posted by Elizabeth Jill on 05/08/08 at 02:09 PM

(Blessed remissions do come in-between the gusts sometimes. Hope and prayer and continuing love, as you know...)
Jill

Posted by Maria Terezia Ferencz on 05/08/08 at 09:19 PM

The insight and empathy woven in this poem amaze me. Your son is a very lucky person to have you in his life. It sounds like you could be his metronome.

Posted by Allison Smith on 08/03/09 at 01:44 PM

Well said indeed. As someone who has been bitterly depressed I applaud you. I wish I had this poem when the lights were out and when my own words seemed stuck.

Posted by Timothy Wilson on 01/11/11 at 02:27 AM

I can't believe the similarities in our poems. I guess there's only one true way to describe madness and time. I really enjoyed this one. It's funny the Dali Clock i mentioned in my office, in the poem is the one you posted. It's chilling. Really good work though.

Posted by Sam Roberts on 02/02/14 at 11:33 AM

I love the melting clock dali image, that fits this poem so well. It is a sad day..I too understand mental health and the ways it can disable us. I often feel that even now there is a stigma. Depression is a lot like cancer...you just can't see it.

Posted by George Hoerner on 02/06/14 at 01:20 AM

Very well done Chris. Time should always be an issue for each of us. I saw 4 original Dali paintings in the Tate art museum in London in about 1957 or 58. I was very impressed. Again good write.

Posted by Laura Doom on 02/06/14 at 10:50 AM

Inspired piece of writing Chris.
'Time doesn't exist at all'--ironic in this context, where 'time' is of the essence.

Posted by Tony Whitaker on 02/08/14 at 07:34 PM

I am adding this to my favorites. I'm glad it made it to the Top Ten so I was able to read this 6-year old poem. The sadness into the insight of your son's situation leaves me thinking of the trials of my teenage daughter, now 33, who tripped the light fantastic, only to fall from heights of drug induced euphoria, to fall into the abyss of deep depression. She is now on firm ground but I know her past still haunts her. Thank you for this!

Posted by Dane Campbell on 02/10/14 at 12:40 PM

It's brilliant.

Posted by Clara Mae Gregory on 02/13/14 at 02:10 PM

*****STELLAR*****

Posted by Don Matley on 02/15/14 at 09:47 PM

Just read your poem "Killing Time". It is very moving to say the least. You work the time motif in like the precision of a pocket watch. It especially has meaning to me personally. When I was very sick in the hospital for nine months I was constantly watching the wall clock ticking my time away. When my wife came to visit she had to make me stop staring at tome and look at her. Even though I stared at the clock,time was meaningless for me. Excellent piece of work. Enjoyed it. Thanks.

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