by Richard Vince
The January morning mist
Slithers across the newly
An earthbound snake
Made of cloud.
He sees nothing but her eyes,
Shining from beneath
A blanket of mascara.
His eyes widen as he
Breathes her words like oxygen:
Almost a drug.
These heavenly minutes are
The best of his day.
The rest is just waiting
For the next opportunity
To ignore the rolling
Countryside for her.
Posted on 01/30/2008
Copyright © 2022 Richard Vince
|Member Comments on this Poem|
|Posted by David Garner on 01/30/08 at 07:55 PM|
Excellent poem! Love the last lines especially. Really intimate and beautiful.
|Posted by George Hoerner on 01/30/08 at 08:42 PM|
Very nicely done. Quite enjoyable. The mist always catches my eye.
|Posted by Coleman Demiurge on 01/31/08 at 08:14 AM|
A beauty indeed - a superb work to say the least.
|Posted by Laura Doom on 01/31/08 at 04:21 PM|
Mascara certainly stands out against the backdrop of 'natural', rustic imagery, which is interesting, as mascara might be regarded as 'unnatural', not only because it is an applied adornment. For the majority of species in which appearance plays an important role in attracting breeding partners, it the male who is invariably endowed with outstanding features designed to attract attention. This piece demonstrates that nature's aesthetic qualities are no match for those deployed in the theatre of primal drives :> Exquisitely expressed...
|Posted by Nicole D Gregory on 04/26/08 at 10:50 AM|
This is just beautiful. Descriptive and initmate and made me sigh... Congratulations on POTD!... What a great way to start the day! ~N
|Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 04/26/08 at 02:37 PM|
A fine POTD! I like how the mascara focuses me boldly ;) on her eyes even as I love the swirling world you have created around the two of you. No wasted words here. Thank you.
|Posted by Anita Mac on 01/30/16 at 11:47 PM|
This is lovely. I particularly like the second stanza, I can practically feel the eye-widening intake of breath while taking in her words.