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Sentimental
by Trisha De GraciaThese sentimental things turn over
snow drifts low on rooftops in the city next to me
the sweet becomes the sullen
mulling over whitewash words
your echoes focus, burn, and ash away
in me
you make yourself an ocean
diving sinking soaking down
I'm wrecked and heaved across the bottom
left to silt
and be. 01/06/2008 Posted on 01/07/2008
Copyright © 2024 Trisha De Gracia
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by George Hoerner on 01/07/08 at 05:02 AM Very nice write on a "sentimental" subject. |
| Posted by Coleman Demiurge on 01/07/08 at 06:22 AM The sweet becomes the sullen - perfect definition of sentimentality... A dreary sentimentality, but that's how most sentimental things end up anyway. Anyway, great piece, as usual. Not everyone can start a poem off so strongly and keep it that way to the very end (even eleven lines long), but it seems to be inherent in pretty much everything you do. Those first three lines are most excellent (my favorites) and the rest of the poem holds up equally as well... Very nicely done indeed. |
| Posted by J. P. Davies on 01/07/08 at 07:32 PM nice closing line. I like this one. |
| Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 01/08/08 at 12:43 AM I like reading this aloud. The first two lines really are quite moving. As I get to the end, I almost feel like you are the sediment and this carries me back to your title - a clever word play, at least in my mind. |
| Posted by D. James McKee on 01/13/08 at 12:48 PM Wow! Beautiful! I enjoyed your wonderful use of internal rhymes immensely, and the imagery is amazing! |
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