There once was a woman that lived in every house
None could discourage or scare her, not even a mouse,
As she raised her brats almost all on her own
Her worries were huge! Forget the ozone,

Now her kids were really not the worst
There was Tom, Dick and Harry and a dash of girls at the first
And Mom was driven to madness and despair
By “Children of the Age” whom just didn’t seem to care.

With a one and a two and a three a lerry
They flitted about like festive fairies
Without a care in the world and certainly none for their Mom;
"To volunteer and help with the work" were replaced by a “ho-hum”

So off they went to play all day ‘til their bellies beckoned their return
While Mom had slaved meanwhile making strawbery pies for which they did yearn;
And have no doubt Mom baked pies that were so very very good,
That they disappeared faster than an arrow unleashed by Robin Hood.

Now the youngest was OK but was prone to wander around the clock
So Mom had to tie him down to a rather large cinderblock,
And the next born was fine at least as far as it goes,
Except for sticking candy cigarettes up his nose and between his toes.

In order to catch a break Mom signed the girls up for ballet
But they broke the parallel bars and were kicked out the same day;
And the neighbours all watched speechless and dumb
And wondered whar kind of woman was this creature called Mom

The boys were great athletes and stood out alone
As they returned from the competition with yet another broken bone
Now Mom tried to pretend that this was not an utter disasaster
But they spent most of their youth with at least one limb in plaster.

Now the boys didn’t hve a monopoly at all on getting hurt
As one girl wacked the other and blood did spurt.
And flattened by her sister in the yard one day
She was attacked and bitten by a dog who just wanted to play.

The boys played road hockey for hours on the street
And dragged themselves into the house completely beat
So when Mom asked for their help to tidy up their rooms
They complained they were too weary to even push a broom!

But of course they had energy to go out,increasing Mom’s pain
By throwing rocks at the windows of a passing train
And when the railroad inspectors came to the home
Mom was on the verge of rendering the children disowned

And one of the girls was no angel and played Mom for a fool
She preferred riding horses and playing hooky from school
And when she tumbled and broke her arm falling from a horse
She told her mother she fell off her bicycle of course.

Undeserving of an allowance the kids started a trade
So under a tree with table and chairs they began selling lemonade
But of course by the time they used tons of sugar and drink powder too
They cost Mom more money than they made when all through !

But despite all this trouble Mom did survive
While managing to keep her brood all alive
And her family grew up straight and true
Because Mom after all was the family’s glue.

12/20/2007

Posted on 12/20/2007
Copyright © 2025 Don Matley