| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Gregory O'Neill on 10/17/07 at 08:16 PM Great use of format, considering the subject. "Golden moat" is terrific. Enjoyed your work on this! Thanks. |
| Posted by Kyle Anne Kish on 10/18/07 at 03:22 AM Like Gregory, I loved the format. It didn't distract from the poem. I am enamored by the part that says, "But can your fingers pick a lock? And can you keep a secret?" It was inserted in the poem in just the right place. Thanks for sharing. |
| Posted by Coleman Demiurge on 10/18/07 at 03:47 AM Lovely, I like this a lot. When I saw that heart at first I did have doubts; I was a little worried. I should have known better though - this is very good. The lines that really impressed me the most were:- "The chain he wrapped around your throat that golden mote is shining like a slick upon the shore". Superb imagery, rhyme and alliteration in that spot alone; the whole of the poem is excellent... Good ending too (very true); great poem, very nicely done. |
| Posted by Jared Fladeland on 10/18/07 at 05:03 AM very fun indeed. great rhythm especially for this format |
| Posted by Alison McKenzie on 10/18/07 at 09:48 AM Kyle Anne was right, this IS lovely. I love the way the heart captured the poem, and I love the symbol of the kept secret. I've always wanted a locket. |
| Posted by Kathleen Wilson on 10/22/07 at 05:24 PM And in the oldest of old troubadour traditions... most beautiful manuscripts... of medieval times did such and subtley, so as to tempt such sweet music and intricate verse to be unlocked by such sweet "fingers pick"... maybe this will show?
(if so or not...the secret kept...close to the heart...) |
