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even when i'm smoking all the time.

by Eli Skipp


all i ever do anymore is fall in love with people who won't
fall in love with me.

not even.
just in a "baby --
call-me-baby-
ask-me-over"
kind of way just like "baby --
you're-so-pretty-baby-
you're-so-perfect-baby-"
kind of.

and don't you ever tell me to get over it, especially
when i'm drunk because
all of the good in me is
directed at a sports bar bathroom mirror and saying "jesus-girl --
you're-so-pretty-girl,"
even when i'm smoking all the time --

"jesus-girl," you
said you'd win my heart and
no, you say you like me --
like your girlfriend better --
even when i'm smoking all the time and
breaking everything in sight and

all i want to do is love my body because
so many people say they love me tell me "baby --
jesus-baby-girl," but
god i'm so fat and god
i'm just so
i can't accept that everyone --

can't you just be insecure with me?
can't you be just as ashamed when you're naked and
just as sure when you're brand new?
can't you ask me questions back?

but all i ever do anymore is --
oh god come quickly because
"oh-god-baby --
i-can-tell-you're-leaving-baby
won't-even-bother-baby-
because-baby,"
kind of just like --

even when i'm smoking all the time,
jesus, girl, oh god, not even.

08/12/2007

Author's Note: not sure how i feel about this one; cathartic.

Posted on 08/12/2007
Copyright © 2019 Eli Skipp

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Elizabeth Jill on 08/13/07 at 03:06 PM

I'm agreeing (and bouncing up and down all the while) with Jon, Reggie and Abby. And headed out to my porch under the Oak Tree to gulp in this wonderful fresh air your poem brought me. [ lighting up as I type ]

Posted by Jolie Jordan on 08/20/07 at 04:38 PM

I really dig your work, girl. this one is great in particular.

Posted by Jared Fladeland on 03/08/08 at 04:22 PM

you're officially become one of my new favorite poets.

Posted by Adele Cameron on 07/01/11 at 10:34 PM

amazing.

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