jammin' (travel) by Rhyana FisherCaution Road Work Ahead
shiny shells glint
in the glaring afternoon sun
creeping along concrete pathways
in the crawling patterns
of bustling pavement ants
Expect Major Delays
orange lights blink on and off
in time to the stop and go
of weaving rainbow blocks
winding over and under
curving concrete arches
Chicago Skyway
twinned triangles of rusty metal
stare intently heavenward
indifferently ignoring
the busy boxes skating
across airy asphalt guts
Pay Stop Toll
green arrows beckon brightly
but menacing red eyes
wield barber pole lances
strictly guarding the gate
to an ever elusive
Construction Ends 07/14/2007 Author's Note: my brother called this "too philosophical". then again, he also complained because it didn't rhyme. *highly amused* concluding lines need a little work i think but not bad for a day's work.
but..erm...how do i categorize this? they should have travel as category. guess for lack of better it shall have to go as philosophy.
Posted on 07/15/2007 Copyright © 2024 Rhyana Fisher
Member Comments on this Poem |
Posted by Ashok Sharda on 07/15/07 at 02:41 PM Well, it is philosophical. The drive on a pathless path isn't a smooth ride, even when the path is predetermined. |
Posted by Kyle Anne Kish on 07/15/07 at 04:38 PM Rhyana, not bad for a day's work at all. I like how you put the sign postings separate from the rest of the stanzas. It might be even better to see them in bold. I'm originally from the Chicago area and was traveling along with you in the poem. Then again, this is a poem that about any driver can understand. "Construction Ends" ... perfect end to your poem. Thank you for the read. |
Posted by Rula Shin on 07/19/07 at 08:33 PM I really like this piece. The flow, the rhythm, the colorful imagery so tightly and cleverly knit...I especially like the way you have woven the fine threads of alliteration throughout the piece. I too find it philosophical, a different perspective altogether of a path most beaten. Nice!! |
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