As a representative of my church,
I drove all this way to her small, run down apartment.
because she needed to talk.
She is as old as my mother, in her 60s.
She sits in the same position she has been in for 2 days
curled up in a blanket.
She complains. Her friend is a controlling bitch,
Her MD just wants to make money off of her.
Her Psychiatrist is incompetent.
Our priest is ignorant and selfish.
Her cats are driving her crazy.
She can't fill out her medical forms.
She can't fill out her insurance forms,
her section 8 forms, any forms.
Because she doesn't like reading forms.
She complains that I pay too much attention
to my own children.
Our church (which I am visiting her from)
is full of airheads who won't give her any money.
I am worthless because I won't organize her bills
nor fill out her forms.
Her parents abused her, her sister won't talk to her
She was married once, but he abused her.
She gave birth once and gave him away.

She is poor, she lives alone in a messy apartment,
and she blames the Bush Administration for this.

Some describe her as a nut bag.
I am there because even nut bags have spiritual needs.

I think of many things as we talk,
but one thought I keep in my head.
I fear this could be me some day.
Oh, sure, now I am married with 2 children,
right now I am functioning and comfortable.
But all it would take is one car accident,
one disease, one tragedy
in the next 30 years, and I could be her.

How could I avoid being her?
Save my money? But money comes and goes.
Invest in my children? Children can abandon you.
Work on keeping my husband happy?
I can not control him and make him stay.
Chances are I will out live him.
No, there is something bigger than this world,
more powerful than money, houses, and people.
I put my faith in God. I obey him, and he will keep me.
YHWH extended this covenant to all of humanity.
Over and over again since 3000 B.C.
And even offered it to gentiles through Jesus Christ.
I am on board with this.
I will be faithful and obedient,
and YHWH will continue to provide for me. All my needs and many of my wants.
I think He can handle it. He did create the universe.

My client continues, about how rich people don't share.
Her sister doesn't send enough money to her.
I remind her that God provides for her.
She has a roof over her head, food to eat,
and someone here listening to her
when she needs to talk.

01/08/2004

Author's Note: This is the actual poem I posted in 2004, not a word of it has been altered to fit how I feel now. It is all very relevant to me. Faith keeps me strong.

Posted on 04/30/2007
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