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Shiny-Happy Person

by Dave Fitzgerald

My parting rivalled the Red Sea
As my shiny scalp was there to see.
People would stop and stare at me
So I set my shiny, pink scalp free.

Oooooooh I have no hair!
Wo-oah, and I really don't care!
I've saved a mint by shaving my own hair,
I have no need for barbers chairs!

I, maybe, now look like a thug,
After shaving off my worn out rug.
It left me forelockless to tug,
But I'm proud of my baldy mug.

AWWWWW I have no hair!
Woh-hoh, and I really don't care!
I've saved a mint by shaving my own hair,
I don't need the barbers chair!

I took the lot off as you would,
And as all baldies surely should.
I do my own haircuts, I'm getting good
At Grade Number 1 and "To the wood".

Oh-woah I have no hair!
WoAH!, and I really don't care!
I've saved a mint by shaving my own hair,
I really don't need the barbers chair!

I've plenty of hair, it's my head that lacks.
I wasn't going to stick my head in a sack.
I'll shave my head before I crack.
And I've got loads more hair on my back!

Wahaay I have no hair!
Hooray, I really don't care!
I've saved a mint by shaving my own hair,
I have no need for the barbers chair!

I'm not "really" bald as everyone knows.
There are loads of places where hair grows.
I have hairy fingers, and hairy toes.
It grows from my ears and sprouts from my nose.

Oooooooh I have no hair!
Wo-oah, and I really don't care!
I've saved a mint by shaving my own hair,
I have no need for barbers chairs!

No need for barbers chairs!

04/05/2007

Author's Note: Just being silly again

Posted on 04/05/2007
Copyright © 2022 Dave Fitzgerald

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Genevieve Sturrock on 04/05/07 at 12:25 PM

i love bald men! sexy, baby. and ever so much more attractive than the fuzzy ring o'hair or the dreaded comb-over. Please tell me there's a song behind this...cause it's begging to be sung.

Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 04/05/07 at 02:43 PM

Bald is soooo in!! and this poem is soooo funny! Thanks for always making me smile.

Posted by A. Paige White on 04/05/07 at 06:35 PM

Thanks for the chuckles Dave! My son is 18 and has stopped up my sink several times. Shaved head is in... and he's very hairy too, lol...

Posted by Charlie Morgan on 04/05/07 at 08:49 PM

...dave--and a lovely play-ride on this train of cute, carrying the real, been so busy with different things i haven't been able to read a lot of peeps stuff, i'm glad i stopped here...again, lovely, lovely rhyming and wordage...still grinning!...peace, chaz

Posted by Jennifer Ragan on 04/07/07 at 12:27 AM

HA! I use to be a hair stylist and some days I wished the whole world was bald! Very fun write:)

Posted by Elizabeth Jill on 04/08/07 at 11:16 PM

p l e a s e
k e e p
b e i n g
b e i n g
and all otherwises that come along with you!

a d o r a b l e - p o e m !

Posted by Elizabeth Jill on 04/08/07 at 11:22 PM

( I was bald until I turned 3. Nobody thought I'd ever have any hair. Then it started sprouting. It came up the color of sour cream. Heh!)

Posted by Joan Serratelli on 04/27/07 at 11:55 AM

I couldn't help but laugh as I read this wonderfully delightful piece. My husband laments the loss of his hair, while you revel in it. The repetition was quite effective

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