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My Baby Elephant

by Soulo Jacob Bourgeau

soft and peach pot fuzzy
robustly near full term
my little baby elephant
my paunchy pachyderm

my equator doth burst outward
can barely see my toes
I need to say goodbye, lil’ fella
or buy paternity clothes

my sexy Kenny Cole slacks
with the button fly waist thirty
beneath my bulging baby boy
are not a sight so purty

so dear baby elephant
like son shall father now on
forage like an herbivore
and run until you’re gone


Author's Note: I was shocked on Monday to find the scale balance out at 173 lbs! Since no one was behind me with a toe on the darn thing, I've resigned myself to losing 15 lbs (lost 3 already...).

Posted on 02/14/2007
Copyright © 2020 Soulo Jacob Bourgeau

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Rhonda Maneki on 02/14/07 at 11:16 PM

This made me giggle - I agree with Lori.( hides my scale)

Posted by Dave Fitzgerald on 02/15/07 at 12:11 AM

hehehe brilliant... I've been losing my elephant since christmas but i am running 9 miles a week and living off forage

Posted by A. Paige White on 02/15/07 at 02:09 AM

Love the wry sense of humor about it all. Very cutesie.

Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 02/15/07 at 02:56 AM

haahhaahhaahhahaha - Your ability to laugh at yourself is charming and makes for some mighty fine poems.

Posted by Angela Nuzzo on 02/15/07 at 09:39 AM

Soulo, this is hilarious! I like the rhyme of Thirty and Purty. This reminded me of that movie where Arnold Schwarzenegger is pregnant. HaHa! What an image! ;)

Posted by Delilah Coyne on 02/15/07 at 07:03 PM

I love, love, love this!! And I know the feeling! I'm in the process of losing now!

Posted by Kathleen Wilson on 02/16/07 at 06:10 AM

This is exhilirating cheerful. Ooooh I hope your elephant is not the keeper of your sense of humor--I would not want you to lose that! If necessary I will have to send you some of my homemade chocolate chip cookies--I served them at poets night at our house last night. (hee hee) Wonderful little poem full of delightful silliness! Yay!

Posted by Michelle Angelini on 02/19/07 at 08:08 PM

Oh yes, I've got an elephant too. Soulo, this is a wonderful way to think of losing weight. Thanks for the humorous look at the more serious side of life. And, hey good luck on your safari! ;-)

Posted by Anne Boulender on 02/19/07 at 09:51 PM

this is so ridiculously silly. i'm still laughing.

Posted by Mo Couts on 08/06/11 at 02:18 AM

Hehe, this is adorable! I hope your weight loss has come along as you desired!

Posted by A. Paige White on 04/15/15 at 12:36 PM

Congrats on POTD.

Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 04/15/15 at 03:17 PM

Fun to see this as POTD! Congrats!

Posted by Steve Michaels on 04/15/15 at 05:53 PM

So fun and warm - congrats on POTD!

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