| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Alisa Js on 02/07/07 at 08:09 PM very well stated, Rhonda and powerful
for dramatic impact what about?
`````````````````````````````````````````````````
Stop!
Twisting your vines of thorns
Around my truth,
Your lethal lies
Are choking me ...
To death !
`````````````````````````````````````````````````` |
| Posted by Alisa Js on 02/07/07 at 08:10 PM Stop!/ Twisting your lies/ Around my truth/ Your lethal lies/ Are choking me/ To death! |
| Posted by Alisa Js on 02/07/07 at 08:11 PM I tried to outline it, but it didn't work like I thought, so my suggestion is this. Try writing it with this (/) as the line break and let me know what you think, ok? ... alisa..;-) |
| Posted by Alicia Vann on 02/08/07 at 01:55 AM Beautiful |
| Posted by Kyle Anne Kish on 02/08/07 at 04:42 PM So 'right on' and to the point, Rhonda. The imagery and emotion here is deadly. Excellent. |
| Posted by Kyle Anne Kish on 02/08/07 at 04:43 PM By the way, welcome to Pathetic. :) |
| Posted by Charles M Harrison on 02/12/07 at 02:50 AM This one gives me such a haunting mental image, I can just picture it so well |
