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Queen Violet

by Dave Fitzgerald

Her Majesty Queen Vi
Was a viking queen.
She had the largest muscles
Ever seen.
Her voice was a boom,
She never was quiet,
And all of this was due
To her tremendous diet.

She had special legs
Put on her table,
For her appetite
Was one of fable.
She always had to have
A balanced meal
With plenty of iron
And plenty of steel.

Her cooks had to make sure
Her meat was lean.
Or big Queen Vi
Could get pretty mean.
She'd blow her top,
She'd bellow and roar,
'I'll let loose my anger
With the power of Thor!'

Her head chef had worked
In her kitchen a while,
And so devised a plan
With a devious smile.
He loved the Queen
But her tantrums were a toil,
So he wrote a menu
Rich in omega oils.

Vitamins and minerals
Were the order of the day.
It was time Queen Vi
Ate in a healthy way.
If his plan worked
She would stop being mean
With a new diet
She'd be fairytale queen.

Fruit and vegetables,
Five portions a day,
Would help her act
In a more demure way.
When he gave her a dinner
Of vegetables and fishes
She polished off the lot
Without licking the dishes!

The viking people were happy
With the change in Queen Vi,
And sent prayers of thanks
To their Gods up on high.
The viking Queen
Now had feminine charms.
It's just a shame
About those muscley arms.

01/15/2007

Posted on 01/15/2007
Copyright © 2022 Dave Fitzgerald

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Alisa Js on 01/15/07 at 10:43 PM

lol...lol..lol. this one is so very funny and entertaining.. thanks for sharing.. aloha

Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 01/16/07 at 12:26 AM

With Viking blood running through these veins, I have to say this is a hoot! A message runs through this inspite of your light and merry tone. Nicely done.

Posted by Peter Humphreys on 01/16/07 at 09:26 AM

My kind of woman! If the Vikings had been veggie would they have stayed at home knitting rather than putting the wind up us poor ancient Irish?

Posted by Jennifer Ragan on 01/17/07 at 11:18 PM

HA! Very clever and fun:)

Posted by Genevieve Sturrock on 01/19/07 at 07:45 PM

This should come with a warning...don't drink and read. I'm cleaning coffee off my laptop and out of my nose!

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