by Peter Humphreys

a soaring
moon as clouds
race past and a
fulsome smile is
cloaked and veiled
in milky glow then shown
a soaring
tide that wets
my feet with ebb
and slide and slowly
as you move to go you
turn and wave against the flow
a searing
sun and as my
child picks up
a gun I shield his
eyes from sight for in
the tender lonely night he cries


Posted on 01/04/2007
Copyright © 2024 Peter Humphreys

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Gregory O'Neill on 01/04/07 at 07:22 PM

Hi Peter. Ethereal and moving. I love the image of a "soaring" moon...such wonderful motion. Excellent write. Thanks. (I dare anyone to come up with a briefer title, you've got that)

Posted by Kathleen Wilson on 01/04/07 at 08:51 PM

Fascinating and powerful mix of inventive form and content. The "I" that links (literally) like a hook from one stanza to the other, and the peaked verse waves all very effective, and even with the rather strict wordage that must be used to create this effect, or maybe partly as a result of that-- the waves of feeling come through, and strongly. The moon is not usually imagined as racing, and that's a fine image. The moon, water, sun--and the standing of the "I" in every case-- beneath and beside the influences of the --forces of nature-- force a smile, a wave, "against the tide" (wonderful image there)-- and we "sheild his eyes" (your)child--whose glow-wave and in the end "gun" and "cry" could be the very impetus for this emotional stand-- neneath in the end "the searing sun". A rich and creatively formed poem.

Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 01/04/07 at 11:50 PM

A unique, fascinating shape that makes me feel all begins with the "I" - divine or not. From there these three thoughts become ebb and flow. This cries for more, in my mind. Perhaps it is just me, needing a more gentle ending. There is a "walking away from" in the second stanza that brings such a sense of separation. The gun becomes a sad solution. I like this poem a lot.

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