A Future Season

by Alisa Js

how could I have known
the magnitude of your pull on me?
throughout every fiber straight to my core
maybe I was blind or didn't want to see the obvious,
too scared to notice or even believe
this love I've always dreamed of,
always so sure of
always knew would one day come,
was standing right here
in front of me ...

and what did I do?
I ran like a deer straight into denial
like a fool with a PHD,
tortured myself senselessly
what did I think I would accomplish this way?
how to erase all your pain?
figure out who not to blame?
I know it's impossible,
yet I live for the day
all the slashes you suffered
at my recklessness
will somehow, magically blow away...

I will forever remember
the promise
that maybe still,
on that horizon of love if I can get past myself
and learn to overcome
this fear of not knowing it all,
of losing it all
without controlling it all with no surprises
that maybe there is a chance for 'us' ...

on those nights when I'm falling inside myself
to that place with no answers and only bad luck
if any luck
while chasing around those fractured reprieves,
and trying to destroy those demons of jealous rage
I will remember
that possibility could still be there, waiting,
over there just under dawn's first blush
on that tender bloom of a promise once spoken
a season to be,
maybe then, I could finally taste
that which I've always believed...


Author's Note: Have you ever experienced passion so intense you could not think straight?

Posted on 12/08/2006
Copyright © 2024 Alisa Js

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Dave Fitzgerald on 12/09/06 at 01:40 AM

The strongest line of all, for me is I will remember... It marks a turning point, a return of inner strength and pride... Great write

Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 12/09/06 at 02:00 PM

As per your Author's Note, indeed I have, as well as living in my own way the passion, heartbreak, but also continuing hope expressed in your courageous poem.

Posted by Tony Whitaker on 12/27/06 at 09:03 AM

As I read this poem I couldn't help but think of the song as sung by Rod Stewart "A Reason to Believe". This is strong stuff Alicia and, so far of what I have read of your Library, my favorite. But me thinks we are both the hopeless romantics!

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