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Old Woman Staring Out a Window Into the Wintery World

by Delilah Coyne

The grey world greets her milky eyes
as it has many times.
Rippled, aged glass, imperfect,
separates her from the cool beyond.
Cold gusts push past naked trees,
spiked, bare arms pointing skyward
against a gun metal sky.
A stray leaf left behind
from Autumn's flurry
skates past on brown earth, greenless.
She feels the Winter in her bones-
She is Winter now.
Spring is a memory of birth and yellow-green,
dulled now by the shadow of age,
Winter's silver shawl.
Even the frozen landscape is warmer
than this Winter she endures.

Her skies will never be blue again.

12/07/2006

Author's Note: Thanks to Chris for his obvious suggestion. ;)

Posted on 12/07/2006
Copyright © 2024 Delilah Coyne

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 12/07/06 at 05:21 PM

Captivating parallels between a woman's "winter of life" and the real thing. Excellent close out in that last line. One little quip though: are these lines not simply stating the obvious?: Even her Autumn was warmer than this Winter she endures.

Posted by Kathleen Wilson on 12/12/06 at 01:58 AM

There is a beautiful pace and smoothness to the lines here, the whites, browns, silver and greys are consistent with the present and the theme, the green and yellows only in the past, not really there at all. As Chris suggested rightly the change--I might go a bit further--but this is really a matter of personality and aim with the poem. I might say rather than the frozen landscape being warmer, her memory is warmer than her winter, because any old person, inside, has a warmth of memory that is quite intense and immediate, and there...the season is different! Now, if you want the poem to keep its Wintry coldness and neutral colortone --then my idea would not be in keeping...but if you want the inner glow-- well that is where I would put it! Fine sense of imagery, use of color and lyrical flow.

Posted by Kathleen Wilson on 12/12/06 at 02:23 AM

I have been thinking about this and actually I do think you were aiming for a bit of warmth in that spot--while still emphasizing the enduring coldness. It is a very delicate thing to do--to give that glow-- while still keeping the temperature down-- as you have throughout--I wonder if it is possible...

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