Gasoline by Therese ElaineYou always could ignite me, from that first splintered spark to the towering inferno that signals the end and Im done with the double talk because theres no two ways to put this and yet somehow I think youll feign oblivion to it all and you take without asking and you break without buying and I cant think of a thing I didnt lay open for your perusal, I cant remember a time I didnt leave a light burning for you to come home by and I know that I purposely singed your intentions in the beginning and you know its because Im afraid of ending up with a candlelight dinner for one and the promises you made sounded like the 5 oclock news, disaster, denial and impending doom but I fought my way out of that doubt and dismal damp and allowed you to warm me, to move through me, to take freely and enjoy thoroughly and now youve changed and youve brought those conditions, those little buts and what ifs and because ofs that slip so easily off your tongue and imprint on my skin as surely as any wound would do, and Id offer you the moon if I had the currency to pay but some things are inviolate, unenviable and impossible and its cruel that you ask and its worse that you came back, when I gave you the chance to leave with this all in tact, you came back and you broke it, you violated it, you rendered it imperfect, you rendered me imperfect and you pronounced your judgment where once you only had a willingness to lay down arms in my presence and youve turned your attentions to more nubile shores, more willing, less willful, a cruel bit of malice on your part that Id always thought you better than and I fight the temptation to carve your name into everything I own just to cross it out later on and I resist the urge to call you a hundred times a day because Id find myself spun and left dizzied with the inconsistency that you practice and I dont have the time to waste in these aimless pursuits of the hows and whys and I am not allowed any grace period but instead I let real life intrude, let the crudity of mundane tasks interfere when once they were benign because of your presence, and I find no comfort in sleep and no sustenance in food and I get no joy from being the better person because god help me I still care and I cant break myself of the habit of your name on my lips and your touch on my skin and your stories in my soul and Ill fight you every step of the way to reclaim whats mine and I didnt come to say this, I only wanted to return some things but I never get a chance to speak uninterrupted, my thoughts uncorrupted by the taint of your charm so Ive said my piece and I ache for the speaking but I really only want to say one last thing because you know that youve always been my gasoline and while you leave a pile of ashes in your wake, and youve killed that part of me that I kept whole for you
Ill rise again. 04/12/2006 Author's Note: This was a piece commissioned by a friend of mine who went through a nasty breakup -she said to me "he's like gasoline to me" and that seemed to stick -so the prose is based off of what she said to me about the situation and of course, my literary interpretation of it.
Posted on 11/13/2006 Copyright © 2025 Therese Elaine
Member Comments on this Poem |
Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 11/13/06 at 03:20 PM Damn. And that's about all I can think to say, though I should add that the damn in question is definately a good one. Really, really great work here. |
Posted by Steven Kenworthy on 11/14/06 at 01:32 AM for a situation that you weren't actually in, this feels so authentic and real. the closeness between you and your friend must have been intense, because this poem reads like an experience and not a third person perspective. your words again grab and pull at my shirt, almost in a come here and listen up fashion. you step a little softer here but deliver a very forward and strong message. people are like construction equipment they either build you up or break you down. it's the dichotomy of the human race...so some of us, to others, sort of have to be...gasoline. great write tb. |
Posted by Quentin S Clingerman on 11/18/06 at 03:03 AM Quite intense, emotional roller coaster! |
Posted by Dave Fitzgerald on 01/23/09 at 02:05 PM Congrats on POTD. Epic read :) |
Posted by Katie Dean on 01/23/09 at 03:13 PM this is really exciting to read. congratulations! |
Posted by Meghan Helmich on 01/23/09 at 03:39 PM i'm feeling it. and unfortunately, i know the feeling. congrats on potd. |
Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 01/23/09 at 03:56 PM Awesome work. Great POTD! |
Posted by Shy Leigh on 01/24/09 at 02:30 AM Mesmerizing and profound. It moved me. Loved it. |
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