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the secret of the life cycle of a drop of water
by Jared Fladelandi've got to know a secret.
Will you tell me yours?
sick paste covered face
heat swept over like daddy long legs creeping across these
hollow blue eyes.
i've got to know what makes the dandy lions walk among us
what makes slivered rain drops pucker on the grass while I
begrudgingly
soak into the soil.
i want honesty humidifying/moisturizing the infinite
walls between God and the devil.
i seek understatements that deliver
overstatements.
devour the good and delude the bad until it appears
on a cosmopolitan cover of every magazine for
the typical.
i'm drowning, rowning, owning, wning, ing.
pick me up from the heavens in the morning. 08/17/2006 Author's Note: if you don't understand this, don't bother. my art is disposable.
Posted on 08/17/2006
Copyright © 2024 Jared Fladeland
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Maria Terezia Ferencz on 08/17/06 at 08:00 AM I know a secret....art is long and time is fleeting.....so never dispose of Art, understood or not.
Love the part where dandelions walk, what an image I grew from this.... |
| Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 08/19/06 at 02:17 PM I'm with Paul. I'd lose the author's note. The poem stands on its own just fine. "I've got to know..... I want honesty..... I seek understatements...." all of these phrases draw me firmly in. "I am drowning....." this line is totally cool - I wished I'd thought of it. I don't have a clue about the title, but it doesn't really matter. :) |
| Posted by Ashok Sharda on 08/20/06 at 03:00 AM Well, no one has to understand as you understand. After all we all go by our own conditioning including the word experience and see what is.Whether a drop of water in this ever flowing stream is on the surface or down below, jumped accidentally on a dry leaf or a reef or it is raised on a high rise platform or it walks like a 'dandy lions'depends on forces and Laws which causes accidents.But, there is a stream, parallel, one can strife to jump into. |
| Posted by Leslie Ann Eisenberg on 08/20/06 at 03:48 PM yes, please, lose the self-deprecating note. you know, if you put your work out there, it's open to everyone else's interpretation, and it certainly won't be yours. this used to be frightening for me, to put my work out there in the world, but if you can do it, then let it go completely be in the light, without the shadow of any negativity. the best you can hope for is a reaction. people might love your work. hate it. think it's hopeful. ugly. but, you know, as long as your work provokes emotion, it's powerful, and you have one gddm powerful voice. i absolutely adore your way with words, and it inspires me to do the same. i've never heard these words put together this way, but it feels wild and just right -- heat swept over like daddy long legs...and the whole second stanza -- i've got to know what makes the dandy lions walk among us
what makes slivered rain drops pucker on the grass while I
begrudgingly
soak into the soil.
wow. the long lines interspersed with occasional short lines works. somehow, the rhythm keeps together, the story remains cohesive, while still having an almost runaway off the cliff edge. and, condensation, evaporation. living hell buried beneath the morningdamp blooms, reaching to heaven, this is high art. water was never so mysterious, so out of reach. so desirous....(catches breath and reads it again) :)PK |
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