"YOU AIN''T SPANISH. If you are,Why you always actin white?"
"Your not white. You look sort of spanish or something.."
"You are Latina- act like us"
"Your just a mutt, that doesn't count"

Apparently, I'm not spanish enough for you,
Nor am I Italian enough either.
Obviously, my tan-colored skin
is not enough.
The dark hair, light eyes, the weird last name that has two vowels in it. the mouth-
which can whipser the serene yet fire-cracker romanticism of
la lengua de amor-
salivating for the traditional spice of
arroz con pollo,
a hefty, colorful plate of
rigatoni,
the golden yellow sun-rise crisp of robust
empanads
and
mujeres hispanas
sweet like creamy,luscious
arequipe
are clearly not enough.

What is it you want from me? i ask to those with "why you so white?"
questions, questions like red capes waving
and waving and waving and waving
in front of my eyes
(Blue is the color i go for, by the way).

Should i straighten my hair
throw away my glasses,
put on tight jeans and a dior shirt
with fake 9 inch nails and eat tons of pasta?
or flirt back with each latino that whistles my way,
like all latin lovers do and creduly shout
!Oye papi, ven aqui!

No can do.
I need my nerdy glasses to see things clearly.

Should i kid myself
by being more Dominican or Italian
and speak more broken Spanish
or half Italian half english
or speak less eloquent English?

Should i dance and prance
with flags of the nation
that are home to my family but are far away
from me?

Sorry.
This Yankee can't dance in the first place.

Should i take a refresher course
on Hispanic Gangsta Ebonics
and learn how to speak the language
of the wet garbage-filled streets,
cover myself up with up to the ass
skirts, or tight tits tube tops jeweled with the word "Bitch"
with a Christo cross necklace long like a chameleon's tail,
and bopping my bobble-head to the
numbing vibes of reggaeton?

No, muchas gracias aka No, grazie
i am proud of who i am-
a smooth talking, smart ass woman
wearing reading glasses and a pen and paper in my hand,
with a plate of arroz con pollo
or penne ala vodka (depending on my mood),
served with french fries and an oversized Dr. Pepper,
a deliciously attractive salsa or opera classic song
with hardcore guitar work and a tattoed, blue haired vocalist
screaming at the top of her lungs, "You can take your idiotic
'Youre white/U betrayed us' assumptions
!y mandelos por carajo! (AKA)
e vada ad inferno!

06/24/2006

Author's Note: discrimination is not always black and white. Ask anyone mixed

Posted on 06/25/2006
Copyright © 2024 Kristi Paik