they used to say
you're so pretty
your daddy must be proud
you get prettier every time i see you

and i would smile outside because i felt beautiful

they used to say
damn, you are fine
your daddy must be worried
you look so sexy in those jeans

and i would smile inside because i felt special

until one said
i can't stand to look at you and not have you
you know you want this
stop fighting

and i screamed because i felt helpless

until another said
you could make money with your mouth
i don't mean by talking
open wide

and i cried because i felt broken

pretty became ugly in an instant
if it wasn't my mouth, it was my hips or the soft folds inbetween
and the way i protected thighs from being broken into
was to make them huge
and as unattractive as possible
so that they wouldn't lust after them
wouldn't parade them
wouldn't sell or trade them
anymore

you look like an angel
became
you look hotter than the devil
became
you look like a slut
became
you look like a whale
became
no one will ever want to look at you again

and then i was satisfied
sufficiently ugly enough
in my estimation
to be left alone
ignored, unwanted, and
visible only from the inside out

05/25/2006

Posted on 05/25/2006
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