There is still
much left on
my mind.
Like, how the
sunshine is
much too bright
in my head, how
it feels blinding
and keeps me
from really
seeing things
for what they
are. And
the traffic,
the traffic
which whooshes
by without warning
makes my brain
zap as if lighting
and thunder have
struck at the
exact same time.
Sunshine and
heavy traffic,
heavy traffic
and sunshine,
how long will
it go on?

Perhaps I
should call
someone,
reach out
and make
a connection
with another
human source?
But, I know hearing
another person's
voice will simply
turn me into
a crying blubbering
piece of mush, who
cannot be understood,
who needs serious
help, who needs her
hand held and to be
guided to a place
where every
noise does not
make her jump
... to a place which
is safe and warm,
where I can
curl up into the
fetal position
and stare at the
pores in the walls.

Dear Friend:

I wish for you to know all of the above. Something has broken in my mind and cannot be repaired with an aspirin or a couple of stitches. You know what I said about staring at the pores in the walls? There is more. I think the pores breathe in my thoughts and fears. They are holding them to exhale on a sunny day when I no longer feel this wretchedness. I will then inhale them once more ... only to cry out in such anguish, the trees will shiver. My cell and cordless phone sit in front of me. I am talking to them. I am suffocating on my words as I say, "Don't you dare ring. I will not be able to say, 'Hello' and hear another voice. It will turn my insides to gelatin and scare the person on the other end. No, no ringing today. I implore you, don't make me say, 'Hello.' Don't make me want to hear love and concern from the person on the other end of the line. Today is not a good day for 'Hellos's' at all."

These thoughts must be delivered to you immediately. For some reason, it seems like the utmost importance right now. My crumbled brain will send them via mind express.

Love and hugs,
Herself

03/10/2006

Author's Note: Writing this in conjunction with Friend.

Posted on 03/10/2006
Copyright © 2024 Kyle Anne Kish