Herself, knowing
she was now
past the danger
point in her
worrying, knew
she could be
of assistance
to Friend.

You see, Herself
really really DID
have the powers
of magic.

Knowing
Friend had spent
her time in a tree
at midnight,
wearing men's
clothes and
so on and
so forth,
definitely
got Herself
to worrying
once again.

Herself
instantly
sent off a
hurried and
most specific
response
to Friend.

Herself wrote:

Dear Friend:

Do you realize, our karma's must be crossing in the night, because I just purchased Joe Jackson's 2 packet CD, "Steppin' Out/Joe Jackson's Very Best" from Amazon.com today? Plus, I feared you would be spending the night in a tree doing what you pointed out in your email. I am so sorry I didn't get to you before you did such. I am absolutely certain you spent the night in that tree simply barfing marshmallows. You poor dear, Friend. No more magic must be done before consulting me first, okay?

Yes, I have magic within me and a wonderful, mystical solution to boot. Yes, it even involves a boot. I know how you so enjoy thrift shopping. You must go quickly to the nearest thrift shop. You know how you always see just one shoe or boot on the road and are always wondering where the other one is? Well, the thrift shop has a special boot which is a one of a kind. Truly, I mean that in a figurative sense. It will be an old faded greenish yellowish mud stricken boot that has been tossed around a few too many times. The price will be $1, but you must offer and pay precisely $.35 for the boot ... not a penny less, not a penny more. Please find the aforementioned one of a kind boot by 3 p.m. tomorrow. Now comes the tough part, but I know you are always up for a challenge. Stuff the boot with two watercolor pictures ... one carrying a leaf on the wind and one blowing the sunrise into a papercup. You can manufacture the watercolors yourself, but they must be completely dry before you stuff them into the boot. Then add one cup of baking soda, three tablespoons huckleberry powder, along with a dash of regular store bought Fruit Loops. Let the concoction sit overnight. In the morning, remove the two watercolor pictures. You will find an incantation printed on the paper which you must repeat 26 times while touching a dot in the sky ... which has been replaced back UP precisely where it should be, clouds and all. The following evening, sleep with the boot underneath your pillow, while wearing striped knee socks, one pulled up and one rolled down. Upon arising, you'll have the solution you are looking for. I'd tell you exactly what the solution is, but then I'd have to kill you, so we won't even go there. So, dear Friend of mine, many happy Joe Jackson's to you! You will be garishly surprised.

As for the normal fee you charged me for your services, I fear it must be doubled. I will be going to my sister's for some rest and relaxation after this week's numerous doctor's appointments. However, I look forward to reaching you by telephone, in a joyful state, and visiting upon my return.

Many hugs to you,
Herself

02/28/2006

Author's Note: Writing this in conjuction with Friend.

Posted on 02/28/2006
Copyright © 2024 Kyle Anne Kish