Herself's
worries were
not for naught,
because she
spent the
following day
doing just
what she had
worried so much
about the evening
before... sweeping
up clouds from
the fallen sky.

Once packaged
and stored in
her freezer,
she checked
Herself's messages.

Luckily, Herself's
Friend, being
the true Friend
she was,
responded
quickly and
in kind.

Friend wrote:

Dear Herself:

Thank you for your question. I am indeed a much learned person. The answer to your question is simple. Clouds can be kept in a freezer for up to 90 days. After that, they begin to lose their buoyancy and are impossible to return to the sky. At that point, the only thing that can be done, is to break them into tiny pieces (I've found a wooden mallet works best) and scatter them by plane into the ocean (away from swimmers, surfers, and boaters, although if you have a vendetta against the aforementioned, it would be a hard-to-trace crime). I am happy to provide you with this information for my usual nominal fee of one visit from you. If the fee is not collected by Friday, March 3, 2006, it will be doubled.

Perhaps you can help me with a question I have been pondering. It concerns my obsession with the musician, Joe Jackson. I have acquired about 50 of his CD's, including bootlegs, and my collection is nearly complete. I have his book, and several pieces of memorabilia. I would like to add a few more things, but I am not feeling any compulsory drives to do so. All in good time, my friend. I am enjoying what I have already. My problem is that I want desperately to take my obsession to a higher level. I want to believe in it... know that it is bringing me closer to my goal, even if that goal is a fantasy or some pie-in-the-sky type of dream. But I can't decide, I can't even imagine what I would ever want to do for or get from Joe Jackson. Marrying him would be a feat, but I don't think he'd go for that since he lives in England and I want to stay here with Tim. Being on stage with him would be exciting, but not for him, and I said higher level, didn't I. Writing something that he would read and be inspired by seems a likely recourse, but the chances are too great that I would never know it, even if it did happen. I think this thing has to be more transcendental... involving magic, I suppose. Do you have any suggestions? I am willing to climb a tree at midnight, wearing men's clothes and no make up, and eat a whole bag of marshmallows which I previously burned in a ritual involving real fire! Do you think this will help? I just don't want my obsession to fall into the category of "common household variety" or worse, see myself as "just a fan." I am truly distraught and I will be very grateful for whatever creative inspiration you can lend to this issue.

Most Sincerely,
Friend

02/27/2006

Author's Note: Writing this in conjunction with Friend.

Posted on 02/28/2006
Copyright © 2024 Kyle Anne Kish